the art of being thankless...

i would like to know how people live in the cold. how? it is miserable. it's not even that cold here and i hate it. nothing is glamorous about the cold. sure snow looks pretty for a little while, then it's just gray slush. (i think last year's snow ruined me. an entire week trapped like a rat in my house...) no one can pull off the "snow bunny" look without being downright freezing. i also hate going out when it is cold. what do you do with your jacket when you are hot? i'll tell you what...i just don't wear one out. don't care. i have a strange aversion to having to hold things for extended periods of time. i will literally barter with myself based on how much whatever i am holding costs...

long story short. i am cold. i shouldn't be. i am sitting in front of a propane powered heater. and i have it set on high. but i am. i am cold. the only place i like being cold is in my house when i am about to go to sleep. that's it. i have more pairs of uggs than one human can possibly need, but whatever. i also know they are ugly as sin, but they keep my toes warm.

again, i ramble and for that i apologize. i also must apologize to my very best friend candice, who informed me that my dad is not the only one who reads my blog ----ohhhhh hey candice. again, the rambling. i promise i will get better about it...that's a big 'ol fat lie right there folks.

i really wanted this post to be about thankfulness or rather the lack there of, but i seem to have gotten of track a smidge. go figure.

that being said... when did people become so ridiculously obnoxious? have people always been this way? i was having this discussion with darwin yesterday because i was frustrated from the lack of thankfulness there is in our business. it's as if no matter what you do, someone is going to find a fault in something and then they come to you and decide that it is your fault. i mean what?

darwin and i deal with this a lot. i understand wanting to be happy with the product (insert whatever widget you wish) but when did we become the people who obtain something to complain about it? why in the world does that ever make sense? no matter how hard darwin and i try to explain how something is going to look, take a customer's drawing and make it into something, explain explain explain,  people come back and say, well we didn't quite understand and we just aren't happy with it.

OH REALLY.

there is this thing in life that you can do...it's a simple thing. they teach it to you from an early age. hell, i don't even think you have to be taught it, i think it just happens naturally as you get older. and by older i mean start to crawl, talk, walk (that whole stage of life). it's to ask questions people.  if you want to know more about something, if you don't quite grasp something, if you think something is wrong - ask a  question about it.  it's not exactly as if it is rocket science. it's a simple question.

maybe questions aren't really the problem. maybe people are the problem. if you like something. like it; don't let others tell you that you don't like it. you have opinions. use them. and while you are at it be a bit grateful for what you do have. it's not easy. but do it. the last thing that i want to deal with during the day, is someone who has decided that a "one of a kind piece" just isn't really what they had in mind, and would we mind refunding them and bending over backwards to make them happy. well you know what my answer to that is? ABSOLUTELY NOT. this relates right on back to my being bullied post. don't tell me something that you picked out, tallied, wanted, annoyed the ever living daylights out me to make happen, isn't what you wanted. um, actually, it's exactly what you wanted. just because you've decided that maybe you wanted something else instead, gives you no right to complain about the quality of what you do have. NONE.

so be a bit thankful. also, don't blame the little man. if you do something wrong, blame yourself. not everyone else. darwin and i don't get to blame anyone. so why should you get to use us as your scapegoat? i know, life is tough, get a helmet, but ya know what? i am flat out tired of that excuse. how about trying this hat on for a little while - be content and thankful. manners get you a lot further than you think....

ciao.

telephone wars...

slow down, you move too fast, you've got make the morning last...

i often sing this song. i also think i have written a post with a similar theme; hell it may even have those lyrics in it. i resisted the crushing urge to put down: monday, monday. can't trust that day. i know for a fact i have used that one.

back to the task at hand. well the one of 18 tasks at hand. telling you all my life story through a series of funny events that happen to me in and around work. they always relate back to something i've previously done. i try to tell that story without giving out too much detail. i like secrets. well that's not entirely true. secrets can just about ruin anything. i think legitimately the only thing secrets can't ruin are surprises. but that's probably because surprises are glorified secrets with a big bow wrapped around them. alas, that is a discussion for another time and another place, and preferably with a few cocktails attached.

i don't do a lot of the philosophical inner search that is the big rage these days. not a huge fan of fads in general, but sometime i find myself racing so fast that i literally feel as if my heart may explode out of my chest. i am having one of those moments. i had one this morning as well when my alarm went off at 6. i hadn't slept well, i was cold, and the last thing i wanted to do was leave my happy place. that dream world where everything ends up sunshine and roses, and if something bad happens, all you have to do is wake up and take a deep breath and go back to sleep. if life were that easy i would most certainly have things further figured out. i can guarantee you that. if it was just as simple as i am going to sleep through this trial and tribulation until it becomes a treasure of sorts, then i think the entire world would be asleep. nothing, and i mean absolutely nothing, would get done.

but man could you imagine the i don't want to be here anymore button? that would be a disaster. because you have to face those trials and tribulations. if you don't you can't grow as a person. if you can't grow as a person, then you are a glorified toddler, and that is just terrible. i mean i laugh and i joke as if i am not a four year old playing an adult, but in reality when things need to get done, i'll get them done. albeit begrudgingly.

now comes to the point, where i stop babbling - ha, right - and wheel this puppy back on course. as you know, or may not because i don't really think anyone actually reads this except for my dad - HEY DAD!, but we've started a furniture line - Urban Reclaimed. this furniture line i think may be the death of me. my previous posts talk about starting the company and figuring out which way is up and which way is bankrupt (see what i did there...), but today i am realizing something i've always known about myself....public enemy number 1 for me is the telephone. ever since i was little, i had a strange aversion to the phone. i am a girl, i should love to talk on the phone for hours, right? well i must be wired wrong, because if my phone never made another annoyingly pleading noise at me again, i would be just fine. but that apparently is not how the world works....damn.

so now here i sit facing the conundrum that is the telephone. because in order to make sales happen, i have to use the phone. the biggest problem i see here, aside from the phone having to be used, is the fact that i am absolutely terrified of sales calls. e-mail me or text me all day and i will make it happen. use the phone...hmm, not so much. now the flip-side of this is that i am actually quite good at using the phone when it comes to solving bills, calling for pricing on stuff, lying to customers (that's a joke...), ya know, the keep the company afloat things. i am good at that. the moment you tell me it's a sales call. WHAM, i am instantly nervous, nauseous, and a clammy mess. it's an attractive look.

so now is where i sit at a crossroads. how does one overcome their fear of the phone? how does anyone do it? well, they repeatedly do it until, it no longer scares the absolute dog shit out of them. i am not a big fan of that tactic. i am as i previously stated, a big fan of the hide under the covers until it passes over tactic.

i guess what i am saying is wish me luck...why does it always have to be about luck? why don't schools have a class on proper phone techniques? why? i'll tell you why, because no one in their right mind would sign up for it. you would have to rename it something. something like - you will make an A in this class if all you do is bring your cell phone....that would get people coming. not staying, but coming.

so cheers to the telephone. if you wouldn't mind letting it kick to voicemail when i call for sales, i would greatly appreciate it...

ciao.

woosah...

darwin taught me to drive the truck with the trailer attached. now let me preface this with a couple of things. i drive the big truck all the time (i would say trucks, but sadly i don't know how to drive a manual) and i have driven the big truck with the trailer attached to it. i have also parked the trailer - getting better at that one. however none of these things actually involved being on the road per say. so wednesday, when it was finally not horrifically gross outside, darwin and i made a venture to the new shop. i am sitting on the computer, trying desperately for it to speak to me about launching a furniture line (Urban Reclaimed - shameless plug), when darwin calls my name.

this usually ends one of two ways: dot, i am hungry or dot, where is something i misplaced 8 months ago, but it is very imperative that i have it at this exact moment in time. both of those situations i am very adept at handling. i micromanage most everything, so i am pretty good at knowing the answer to both of these questions. micromanaging my life - whole 'nother ball game that i am in the bottom of then 9th, bases loaded, 2 outs, 2 strikes, 3 balls....ya get the point.

wednesday was different. different how you ask? well darwin asked me if i knew where the lumber company by the new shop was and i said no. his response, oh good you can drive me there...EXCUSE ME, SAY WHAT?

let me preface once more. i am a nervous person by nature. i don't do confrontation, i don't like the phone, i don't like certain movies that make me uncomfortable, i will most decidedly bolt from a situation that will become too uncomfortable, i don't like long silences (i can tolerate them, but i don't like them)...you get the picture. nervous person. it's a characteristic that i am not terribly proud of, but have learned to mask and move right on through. there are a lot of "woosah" moments in my life. so you can imagine the nervous energy when darwin told me that i was going to drive the truck and trailer to said lumber company, pick up a pack, with him in the truck....

hopefully this will go better than the "teach dot to drive a stick shift in a warehouse" episode.

it went fine. surprisingly well. darwin is a remarkably good teacher. i mean it's not like i just got my license and am driving for the first time. but still, darwin has been hesitant to teach me to drive the truck and trailer, so this was a big step...for the two of us.

with that, i have learned that lots of things in life are like the lesson in driving the truck and trailer. without being loaded down, you can speed up a bit and brake a bit later, but you ultimately have to pay attention to your surroundings. with a load you have to be more cautious, a lot more judicious with your decisions. it makes perfect sense to me. life is a big ball of confusion. sometimes you are less confused and you fly right on through. sometimes you are way confused and you have to slow down and rethink your steps.

ciao.

p.s. keisha (the big truck) does NOT like it when it's cold. i think this is my perfect relationship...

whiskey fridays. or wednesdays. or whenevers...

things around here have been going at approximately 90 bajillion miles an hour. yes, 90 bajillion. next week is thanksgiving....but apparently it's not a real holiday, because all i am seeing are christmas commercials. don't get me wrong, i LOVE christmas, am a toddler about it, but can't we at least celebrate the holidays in order without another infringing? hmmmm. can we? can we now?

with that being said, i feel as if it is 3 in the morning. i'm not tired or anything of that nature, but i feel as if i have been running non-stop. i had honestly no idea that it was friday today. not even a vague clue. that's pretty bad, because that means i didn't know yesterday was thursday. thursday is my favorite day of the week. go figure right?

we've sold our first piece of furniture...wooohoo - urbanreclaimed.com - find us, love us, like us, buy us....

i am steadily trying to promote us any way that i can. which involves no less than 3 changes to each website that i've made. including the biggest one of all and that was....A NAME CHANGE...wooo hooo. if you didn't notice in the last paragraph, but our name is now Urban Reclaimed. all of our websites can be found from the one above - urbanreclaimed.com.  i think i have now successfully made everything talk to each other. by i, i clearly mean, darwin's friend john....he helped get goodsie.com going. pretty sweet.

we are working on a logo, and i am trying to decide if i want to do a brochure. brochures are annoying and a pain in my ass, but i have not entirely ruled them out. we will see.

i just want it to be monday at approximately 10:00 am. that means i am dropping dar off at the airport and me, the coneman, and sweet praia girl are headed to the m...mmmhmm.  whiskey, food, and no responsibilities. yes please.

ciao.

'like' us on facebook (and mississippi wood trader), follow us on twitter (and me too), bookmark our website (and mine too)....selfless promotion right there...selfless

kenny.loggins.

i'm alright, don't nobody worry 'bout me.  --- i mean look at him, he is just so dang happy.

it's monday folks. and you know what that means. that means i am tired and my brain is  functioning at about 72%. not exactly my best showing.  it's a little preoccupied to say the least.

this new furniture line is really intense and i am not entirely positive the best approach to take to make it work. aside from i don't know, whoring it out across the south. i'm just not well versed in the whole marketing and sales field. i am actually really good at sales, but it's got to be something i know a lot about. furniture, well furniture just isn't one of those things that i particularly know a whole lot about. i mean i can talk to you for days about the furniture, but the actual art of how to sell furniture - completely and totally beyond me. so now i am left with this task of figuring out how to sell furniture. so i have been attempting research as we saw in my last post, but i think that mainly just gives me more questions than answers. which in my book is quite possibly the most frustrating things ever.

maybe i need to drink a lot of diet coke and just annoy the shit out of people until they buy my things. would that work? probably not, because i start to annoy myself after too much caffeine. people who don't even know me that well, have told me that they thought if i were to drink coffee that i would ping pong around a room like a bouncy ball. you know what, they are absolutely correct. some days call for caffeine, but most days - steer clear.

i will say that while doing all this research, i have managed to come across this guy's blog: http://www.jamesaltucher.com/  not only is he absolutely hysterical, he has some pretty good insights. i think we should be friends. this article is one of them that i can relate very well too: www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/06/how-to-deal-with-crappy-people/

read him, love him, and do as i will probably do and that is try and find his book. but then again, i'll probably procrastinate a bit and then forget, remember it a month later, write it down in my list of tasks, and then forget again. eventually i will get back to remembering. i often do. which he also talks about. hmmm. crazy. he must be on to something.

ciao.

building...

where does one start to build a new company? i know how to work for a small company. i know how to run a small company. but building a new company? that i am not entirely positive on how to accomplish. i've done a lot of research and they all say there are three key components:

1. Momentum
2. Dedication/Perseverance
3. Luck

gee. those might be the most vague things ever. ever.

momentum - so the very act of momentum means that you have some sort of idea as to what you are doing. well i've got direction and drive, so does that count as momentum? people like our stuff. is that momentum?

dedication and perseverance - well those clearly i've got. we've most decidedly proved that we can persevere through the roughest of times. and i guess that rolls into dedication. so number two, i think i am well versed in. now it's a matter of keeping that up, which shouldn't be too hard. i've weathered some tough storms with mississippi wood trader, so this new venture shouldn't be too tough, yea? yea? maybe? maybe?

luck - oh luck. man that is the million dollar award there. everyone wants luck. i mean that's not something you can actually go out and buy. you either have luck or you don't. so this one could get tricky.

but apparently those are the 3 things you need to make a business. go figure. well those aren't the only three. that would be me telling you a lie. there are lots of other things, but those mainly fixate on keeping the company alive once you've got it rolling. those i am well versed in. they mainly still revolve around those 3 key concepts though.

so now i am in this cycle. i don't like cycles. this could be entertaining....

check us out:  urbangreenfurniture.goodsie.com - urbangreen.me - urbangreenfurniture.blogspot.com - facebook. the whole nine yards. ----so like us on facebook (UrbanGreen and Mississippi Wood Trader) and bookmark our blog (mine as well).

ciao.

learning curve...

some days, i just want to lay down and take a nap and wake up when everything is over. is there a button in life to make that happen?

when we moved out to this new shop, the whole point was to be able to slow down and breathe for about 2.5 seconds. well we have successfully moved out to the new shop and managed to speed up. i'm not entirely positive how we managed to accomplish that, but we have.

my poor little brain is at max capacity and it's beginning to show. small things that i am usually really good at remembering have been immediately pushed out of my brain for the next task. i like to make sure everything is accomplished before i move onto a new task, but lately i have been just adding new tasks on and hoping that everything comes together.

it's been a struggle. a really fun struggle i might add, but a struggle.

so this solar kiln....

i got to use powertools. the inherent problem with darwin and i being the only two people is that i am no where near as strong as darwin. therefore he has to do all the heavy lifting (well most of it) and i have to catch. quite literally. the solar kiln beginning was a rocky one. dual forklift driving, trailer driving, stabilizing, and so forth. we got the sides up, but man i did not like having that pressure of making sure to drive the nail in the exact spot and the exact moment. if you miss, well i guess it would be kiss your boss goodbye instead of your ass.

so once we got the sides up, we decided that we actually wanted to move the kiln. goody. so that meant taking it apart to put it back together again. well the apart side has gone smoothly, the putting back together side has not. it is still laying in a heap in the field. tomorrow i think is it's day of rebuilding. so fingers crossed.

ciao.

so it's been a month...literally.

wow, firstly i apologize. it's been a month. eek.

have you ever felt like you are being pulled in so many directions you feel as if you may actually come apart? yes? good, i am glad to know that i am not the only one.

we've moved the shop (hence the delay). that meant two things: heavy lifting and planning. guess which one excited me more? if you guessed planning you would be correct. however, the heavy lifting wasn't far off. now knowing what i know about darwin, this planning wasn't going to be easy. i planned and planned and then replanned. still wasn't enough planning. i should have known, right? well luckily i did, and planned accordingly. that involved letting darwin dilly dally until he freaked out. then, i picked up the pieces, took over, made a checklist, and replanned. we made it. just barely, but we are alive and the proud new owners (renters) of a wood shed. well it is nicer than a shed, but not quite, say, a warehouse. so...shedhouse? wareshed? whatever you call it, it's ours and it's quiet and it's in the middle of NOWHERE.

with that middle of nowhereness, i get to build things. what is second on my list of awesome things after planning? making stuff. right now we are building a solar kiln --- forklifts, nail guns, staplers, trucks --- mmm powertools. whilst building the solar kiln, i have built a bookshelf, a bunch of triangular shelf supports, and learned the fundamentals of trailer driving and parking...

i really like the hands on approach. yea you may screw it up and get a little dirty, but whatever, you're learning. learning means growing, so i've go that going for me.

aside from all that awesomeness, darwin and i have started a furniture line (second delay). it's a urban reclaimed natural edge furniture line. i've come up with a name and i am pretty sure we are in agreement with it: UrbanGreen. follow us on Facebook, bookmark our BLOG (and mine too), spread the word, and most importantly...BUY SOMETHING!

ciao.


stay tuned for a funny story in solar kiln building. i promise it won't take a month....

alpha.beta.charley.

have you ever been so tired, that you aren't sure you should be driving a motor vehicle? because i have. today. right now to be precise.

the past few days/weeks have been a tiring bunch. we are officially ALL moved! wooooo. but man it has been an intense round.

for starters. remember when my car got stolen? oh say, 3 months ago. well as of today it has been found. to be more exact. as of 4:22 sunday morning, beta has been found. i know this because that is what time the APD decided to call me. FOUR TWENTY TWO IN THE FREAKING MORNING. like i am going to jump out of bed and go retrieve her? seriously? i call them sunday at a more reasonable hour. ya know, like 8 or so. get the run around for a while because turns out they weren't entirely positive where beta was. she was somewhere in cumming, ga. i was informed i would need to talk to the forsyth county police department (cumming's police), but i would have to wait until monday, because they were closed on sundays. OH REALLLLLLLLLLLY. no crime is committed on sundays? geewhiz.

so here we are monday. i finally get through to someone who then has to call me back because he isn't entirely sure where beta is....fantastic. well. turns out. once beta was stolen from me, my stuff was apparently ditched and then beta was sold. the guy however wouldn't give the title over the buyer until he finished making payments. well. i guess the buyer got mad and ipso facto beta was found. ya know, because there was no title, because she was STOLEN! i am also beginning to think that buyer had beta longer than i did, which if we all remember was 2 weeks. i also find it entertaining that the APD thought i was really waiting for them to find beta. it has been 3 months. i did wait 2 months before charley was purchased...

but moving on past beta, i then sunday went to my cousin's first horse show. absolutely precious. but took all day. so needless to say, i was exhausted. and come this morning., i got up at 5 to make sure my cousins got to school and that everything went according to plan. which is where the too tired to drive a vehicle comes into play...

i picked darwin up this morning for our final run through at the metro. sad, bittersweet, and really really exciting all at the same time. we hightailed it out of there. i stopped at the bank and then drove to meet darwin at the new shop and help unpack - daunting. driving there was fine because i had a mission. get food, get to new shop, go home. we get to the go home part, and we are driving and darwin tells me. - i normally trust you with everything, but right now i don't really want to be riding in your car...all i could think, was thank god, i so don't want to be driving right now. we stopped by home depot for some supplies and switched places. totally for the better.

it's funny and sad when someone says exactly what you are thinking. especially when it comes to operating a motor vehicle. i apologize if this post is jumbled, but clearly i am in overdrive. or as darwin so lovingly put it today, you are operating on about 6 out 8 cylinders. i told him that was being generous.


ciao.

the smoking gun. err, dashboard...

so, i am back from the beach. i came back kicking and screaming. well mainly just screaming. it's hard to kick and drive at the same time. the week went by too fast. it was absolutely glorious though. GLORIOUS!

my sister-in-law, Rachel, went paddle boarding with me. i wouldn't say she went willingly; i mainly bullied her into it because i didn't want to go alone. i will say, she was a trooper and did quite well. she did ask me to go shopping with her on many occasion, but i just couldn't bear to leave the beach.

i realized that i am a person who is going 90 mph at all times. no stopping, no slowing down, no sleeping. just going, going, going. but when i get to the beach (and this may be true of all water, but i am going to say the beach) i stop. everything slows down. granted, i am still doing about 45 mph, but i'll take it. something about the ocean calms me. that is not an easy task folks. i have been trying unsuccessfully for the past 25 (yes, 25) years to figure that one out, and apparently all i need is the ocean.

now that i am back to reality, i am back to cramming as much in the day as possible. this move may be the death of darwin and i. we realized on monday that we have until next friday to finish everything. EVERYTHING. the inside is mainly done. just a few things that can't be packed up until darwin is finished milling, but most everything has been cleared. the yard. well the yard is a slow process that is going to require most of our weekend to tackle.

i was driving keisha to the new shop with a load of miscellaneous crap on tuesday and there i was jumping onto 285 from 20 and i look down and she is smoking out the dashboard. well hello, this is a problem. i pull over on 285 and try not to get hit by any semis, and call darwin. thankfully this time he actually answered his phone. i told him calmly (rather panically) that keisha's dashboard was smoking. he told me to turn her off (way ahead of you there) and turn off all the switches (propane and veggie oil) - also way ahead there- and wait a minute to see if it stops. so it stopped. he told me it was probably fine, but if it started again to call him back because i was going to have to perform keisha emergency surgery.

WHAT! oh, this is just what i want to hear....

so we pull back on to 285 and la la la la i look down and keisha starts smoking again. i pull off, get to a sketchy gas station (sketchy at best) and call darwin. HERE WE GO. pop the hood. see the wire coming off the battery on the driver side, clip that from the battery and the plug. the close the propane tank. if that doesn't work then leave the truck and run away and don't tell me about it, because that means there is a problem with the factory wiring and....(you get the idea)

so here i am. in the ghetto, scrounging around keisha for some form of useful tool to clip wire. i can find no shortage of screw drivers, an ipod shuffle (which darwin though he lost), a bungee chord, some headphones, a tape, and of course nothing to clip wire with. i am standing in the back of keisha basically inside the toolbox looking for something, anything. grasping at straws at this point. then i hear this rickety voice screaming at me, that i don't belong in a truck and i shouldn't be driving that big thing, and i need to get out the back of it before i hurt myself. i look up and see this man approaching the truck. now normally this would have made me nervous, but i was PISSED. i shot him the look of death and scream WHAT DO YOU WANT? he promptly pivoted and walked away. after scrounging and being yelled at, i remember: I PUT BANDING SHEARS IN ONE OF THESE BOXES! yes! problem solved. button keisha back up and we are on our merry little way to get the hell out the ghetto.

problem solving folks. problem solving.

ciao.

catching a drift...

it's thursday. which means tomorrow is friday. which in tandem means: no work and the beach! WOOOOOO!! i cannot wait to get away from atlanta. i love atlanta, well most of the time, but right now i want out. in quite possibly the worst way possible. i don't want to play anymore. i want to sit by the ocean, drink beer, eat copious amounts of seafood, and watch the world melt away. that seems fantastic...

whoever tells you that moving isn't stressful and will be pain free, should be shot in the face right then in there. no questions asked, no waiting to see if they are kidding, no nothing. they should be shot. granted our move hasn't been terrible (i think i just called myself out here). but seriously, i have organized the move within and inch of it's life. i mean come on, i am good at organizing. we have almost completed the warehouse. the yard, well the yard is a whole 'nother story completely. i knew that was going to be a bitch from day one. it always is. staring at me with that smug - there is nothing you can do about me - face. that is if it were a person of course instead of an inanimate object, but you catch my drift.

ahhh drift. to be adrift. tomorrow tomorrow. focus. focus.

well i'm shot now. all i can think about it sand, salt and sea. the three major food groups of the soul. well my soul anyhow.

but seriously. moving. it's sucks any way you plan it. it's daunting unless you can do it in stages. or when you realize that half the stuff (more like 3/4) you thought you had to move isn't yours. SCORE. we also got inspected by the fire marshal. because you know what is useful. getting inspected when you have a month left on your lease and you have been there over 3 years. seems like a good a time as any. oh, did i forget to mention that we have never had one before? yea that's right. NEVER.

so we weren't quite up to snuff on all of our codes, but the guy was nice and let it slide and said to fix it and told me when he would be back to make sure i had fixed it. then darwin opens his big mouth...i swear. he told me to handle the fire marshal and then he decides that he wants to butt in on things and talk with the dude. i could of kicked him. if we were all sitting at a table i would have, or maybe thrown my knife at him. i had it covered. the paperwork was signed and we were ready to go. JESUS PETE!

now, i should have clearly seen that coming from a mile away. you know. boys being boys. i've got to make sure that everything is in working order. i'm not an idiot, i got it covered. you do leave me in charge of your company and made me cfo....remember????????????????

silly boys. when will they ever learn?

ciao.


THE BEACH!!!

it's.my.birthday.

i am a toddler. i have known this for quite some time. that being said IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. woooooooooooooooooooooooooo

i really, really like birthdays. i also really, really like christmas. anything that comes with no strings attached presents i am usually a fan. i mean who isn't a fan of presents? they come wrapped with shiny bows on them and you get to rip them open and destroy the paper and on top of that you get a new fashion accessory by wearing the bow around. WHAT IS NOT AWESOME ABOUT THAT?

i may be a little overenthusiastic about my birthday, but whatever. it's MY birthday. i'm hoping that this 25th year of my life is going to be better than the 24th. i will chalk 25 up to a win if 1 of 2 things happens, or both. 1. my car doesn't get stolen 2. i obtain a new hobo wallet - BIG GOALS...ha

it's friday and it's my birthday. my attention span is shot at best. i was doing well this morning, but now i am just a ball of "it's my birthday" energy. should make for a great accomplishing friday.

BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

ciao.

business model hunting...

how do you build a business model? because frankly i have no idea. i have never taken a business class in my life. the closest thing that i took was economics and i barely made it through that class. my brain does not process business. i am not wired for business classes. it's like trying to shove the square block into the round hole. oil and water folks, oil and water.

with that being said, i am attempting to research and see how companies build a successful business model. i keep getting the basics. get good customers, give customers incentives, etc. etc. thanks for that one captain obvious. if you don't already know that is the key to keeping a business alive, then you clearly should not be in business. i want to know the lead up to that. i want to know what it takes to build a company that draws those customers in and manages to keep them happy whilst making money. now that one is alluding me.

granted, i know that those companies want to keep their success to themselves, but come on can't a girl get some help around here?

if anyone has some ideas as to where to find a business model replica, a class, a person. something, anything. grasping at straws here. very, very short straws.

ciao.

it's my party....

sometimes, i am a firm believer that the government is out to get me and perpetually ruin my day. today, practically solidifies my belief. now, anyone who is not just a total waste of space knows that taxes have to get paid. and, by "have to" i mean, totally voluntary but the government will more than likely hunt you down and make you pay out the ass for your mistake....which always makes for a fun day at the post office. (well maybe just for the people standing next to me, when i spaz out and remember yelling profanities in public places is frowned upon. so naturally i mutter them under my breath like a crazy person)

i used to get this letter all the time, telling me that my sales tax payment was late....well guess what GA DOR (georgia department of revenue for you that are abbreviation challenged), i've got news for you.

1. how can i file taxes for a company that doesn't exist?
2. i filed taxes once we got our lovely little "number" from you
3. i filed the back taxes on one page - that was apparently the fatal mistake but not my fault...that would be the quickbooks helper idiot
4. how can one owe more money than the company has made in total sales?
5. how can your dated letter be later than the date on the calendar?
6. my personal favorite - my file by date and my date of return receipt are a good 5 days apart, with the latter being filed sooner than date due...so how does that make me late again?
7. your website to pay sales tax is quite possible the most ill-designed thing i have ever tried to navigate - that's saying a lot because our website is pretty horrific....
8. i hate you
9. i like you a little because i get to you the word 'ergo' in my rebuttal, but then i hate you all over again
10. you waste paper, time and quite frankly, space.

this list could go on for quite a while, but i am sure you get the idea. this is no love-hate relationship. this is a hate-hate relationship. i've gotten pretty good at telling them they are wrong, but it is such a waste of time, not to mention paper. they inevitably send you a letter back stating they received yours and they will get back to you...still waiting on that one....so all in all it totals about 18 pieces of paper that have exchanged hands. stupid. like i said...total waste

so pay your taxes or don't. pay them on time or don't. it apparently doesn't really matter in the end if you are a law abiding small business (law abiding used loosely there) who pays taxes on time they will still try and find a way to screw you over.

oh. yesterday marked my 3 years at work. yes. 3 WHOLE YEARS. that means multiple things. such as:

-i've been out of college for 3 years
-i graduated from high school 7 years ago
-i'm almost 25
-this may be the longest relationship i have ever had
-i've been in atlanta for 3 years
-i have not gone insane (some days that is debatable at best...)

woah. just woah.

ciao.


p.s. check out the september issue of Atlanta magazine and see darwin. pretty cool stuff...

adventures in small business...

after a complete and utter meltdown last week (absolutely terrible week) i was attempting to start this week off on a bit of a better step, by obtaining a vehicle. yes folks, two months in the making but i finally have a car that is my own. a car, car. not even an suv. a car. a bright red jetta tdi. keeping it a diesel family around here. it sure is pretty and shiny. her name is charley.

i feel like when i started this job there should have been one of those yes, no flow charts. if yes proceed to this space, if no follow this line, etc. etc. that would be a very useful piece of paper to have when i started in the small business world. i grew up with a small business, so i should of at least known some of the perils, but apparently i was blind to them. i would like to thank my parents for keeping me blind to such information. in the long run it is best, because you never lose enthusiasm for projects that are sure to implode into your face. you tend to take more risks and be a bit more adventurous when you aren't privy to all the consequences that may be rendered. failing never crosses your mind as an option when you don't know how to fail. all i ever knew was try, try again. if it still doesn't work try even harder. nothing is so unobtainable that you should give up midway. well at least that's my point of view on life.

i've had my fair share of first world troubles. i say first world because it's not as if i am out on the street, scrounging for food and spare change. i've got a pretty sweet set up. some days it's hard to see that, but somedays it's blatantly clear to me. with that being said, it's been a trying year. we will count this year as a school year - august to august. most of them have been trivial, but when you get down to the nitty gritty, working for a small company is very tiring and all encompassing.

i love what i do and i will never walk away, but somedays it's like repeatedly getting punched while you are down. especially when you have done nothing wrong. it's flat out terrible. you can't breathe, everything hurts, you can forget about sleeping, and the worrying. the worrying is the worst. it puts that knot in your stomach that makes you feel like you are constantly on the verge of throwing up. you get so crazy you don't know whether to laugh or to cry. the past two weeks had been like that here. everywhere you turn someone else is throwing in a punch. you try and stand still to avoid it, but it makes it worse. every move you make is another trap. everyone has those days when all you can think is "i just can't win," but when they last for months at a time, it gets to the point where every breath you take feels like a sumo wrestler is standing on your chest.

i'm slowly putting the pieces back together, but man it is difficult sometimes. when you care so much about the company you work for it's hard to see it in a bind. especially when you would do anything for the people you work with or in my case (seeing as i am the only employee) work for. they become your family and nothing is harder than worrying about your family. no one wants to see people they care immensely about have a tough time. you do anything to make sure they know you are rooting for them. but being the cheerleader is a big responsibility. it's tough work. sometimes that smile is fighting back tears, but more often than not that smile shows the world that you believe and you refuse to give up.

i believe. albeit a lot of times that smile is really holding back tears, but man i promise you i keep on believing. if you can't believe then you've got a big problem staring at you. the moment you stop believing is the moment doubt enters and sabotages everything you have worked for. and i mean everything. all of it comes crashing down. maybe not all at one time, but so fast that some of it that falls you would never in a million years guessed would.

it takes a tough person to run in the small business rodeo circuit. i'm pretty tough. not as tough as i should be in certain situations, but i'm working on it. i'm also working on being calmer. that one i am still not very good at. i know when i am falling apart, and i also know that i haven't mastered the art of deception. you can read me like an open book. happy, sad, angry. all of it. right there for the world to see. working with/for darwin i have learned a lot about myself. i have also learned a lot of things that are pertinent to survival around here. when to cry, when to yell. those are all things that are only appropriate at certain times. i by no means have perfected those, but i'm getting better. some days i just give up and let it out, but some days you can't. you've got to be the strong one. the one who fights for what's theirs (ours) and sticks to their guns.

so let this be a lesson in small business. be tough. be really really tough. but never, ever, ever forget who you are and who you want to be. you will get eaten alive if you don't stay grounded. surround yourself with people you love and trust. they will understand when the world is crumbling you just need that one hug, that one phone call, that one (or 12) beers. they have no idea the hardships, but they know how to be there for you. that's all anyone can ask for. i have a lot of that and i am eternally grateful for the countless hours on the phone to home about how i am imploding, or to my best friend for going rock climbing with me because she knew i needed it even though she felt like vomiting, to my boss who knows when to let me freak out and how to handle me at my best and at my worst. these are more than any girl could ever ask for, and i hope that i am at least half as good as they are.

ciao.

ch. ch. ch. ch. chaaaaaanges

it is absolutely disgusting outside. things that are terrible to do when it's this hot outside:

-car shop
-manual labor
-be outside

so seeing as i have done all those things already today (and yesterday) i am sitting inside blogging for your reading pleasure.

ch. ch. ch. ch. chaaaaaangesssss. turn and face the strain...chhhh chhanges.

yes big changes are happening around here. stay tuned for that.

but on a lazy blogging note. check out this awesome website i found today...via twitter...don't judge me...

http://www.raptitude.com/2009/07/88-important-truths-ive-learned-about-life/

because i know you all are lazy, i will include the contents of this link at the end of my list of suggestions of the one's you should read....you're welcome

so here are the ones i particularly like:

1, nine, 12, 15, twenty-nine, 31, FORTY TWO, 64, 67, 74, SEVENTY-SEVEN, eight-seven

"1. You can’t change other people, and it’s rude to try.

2. It is a hundred times more difficult to burn calories than to refrain from consuming them in the first place.

3. If you’re talking to someone you don’t know well, you may be talking to someone who knows way more about whatever you’re talking about than you do.

4. The cheapest and most expensive models are usually both bad deals.

5. Everyone likes somebody who gets to the point quickly.

6. Bad moods will come and go your whole life, and trying to force them away makes them run deeper and last longer.

7. Children are remarkably honest creatures until we teach them not to be.

8. If everyone in the TV show you’re watching is good-looking, it’s not worth watching.

9. Yelling always makes things worse.

10. Whenever you’re worried about what others will think of you, you’re really just worried about what you’ll think of you.

11. Every problem you have is your responsibility, regardless of who caused it.

12. You never have to deal with more than one moment at a time.

13. If you never doubt your beliefs, then you’re wrong a lot.

14. Managing one’s wants is the most powerful skill a person can learn.

15. Nobody has it all figured out.

16. Cynicism is far too easy to be useful.

17. Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.

18. Whenever you hate something, it hates you back: people, situations and inanimate objects alike.

19. Ralph Waldo Emerson’s works alone can teach you everything you need to know about living with grace and happiness.

20. People embellish everything, as a rule.

21. Anger reveals weakness of character, violence even moreso.

22. Humans cannot destroy the planet, but we can destroy its capacity to keep us alive. And we are.

23. When people are uncomfortable with the present moment, they fidget with their hands or their minds. Watch and see.

24. Those who complain the most, accomplish the least.

25. Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.

26. Credit card debt devours souls.

27. Nobody knows more than a minuscule fraction of what’s going on in the world. It’s just way too big for any one person to know it well.

28. Most of what we see is only what we think about what we see.

29. A person who is unafraid to present a candid version of herself to the world is as rare as diamonds.

30. The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. It wrecks dreams and breaks people.

31. If what you’re doing feels perfectly safe, there is probably a better course of action.

32. The greatest innovation in the history of humankind is language.

33. Blame is the favorite pastime of those who dislike responsibility.

34. Everyone you meet is better than you at something.

35. Proof is nothing but a collection of opinions that match your own.

36. Knowledge is belief, nothing more.

37. Indulging your desires is not self-love.

38. What makes human beings different from animals is that animals can be themselves with ease.

39. Self-examination is the only path out of misery.

40. Whoever you are, you will die. To know and understand that means you are alive.

41. Revenge is for the petty and irresponsible.

42. Getting truly organized can vastly improve anyone’s life.

43. Almost every cliché contains a truth so profound that people have been compelled to repeat it until it makes you roll your eyes. But the wisdom is still in there.

44. People cause suffering when they are suffering themselves. Alleviating their suffering will help them not hurt others.

45. High quality is worth any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences.

46. The world would be a better place if everyone read National Geographic.

47. If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.

48. Even if it costs no money, nothing is free if it takes time.

49. Emotions exist to make us strongly biased towards or against something. This hinders as often as it helps.

50. Addiction is a much greater problem in society than it’s made out to be. It’s present in every person in various forms, but usually we call it something else.

51. “Gut feeling” is not just a euphemism. Tension in the abdomen speaks volumes about how you truly feel about something, beyond all arguments and rationales.

52. Posture and dress change profoundly how you feel about yourself and how others feel about you, like it or not.

53. Everyone thinks they’re an above average driver.

54. The urge to punish others has much more to do with venting frustration than correcting behavior.

55. By default, people think far too much.

56. If anything is worth splurging on, it’s a high-quality mattress. You’ll spend a third of your life using it.

57. There is nothing worse than having no friends.

58. To write a person off as worthless is an act of great violence.

59. Try as we might to be otherwise, we are all hypocrites.

60. Justice is a human invention which is in reality rarely achievable, but many will not hesitate to destroy lives demanding it.

61. Kids will usually understand exactly what you mean if you keep it to one or two short sentences.

62. Stuff that’s on sale usually has an annoying downside.

63. Casual swearing makes people sound dumb.

64. Words are immensely powerful. One cruel remark can wound someone for life.

65. It’s easy to make someone’s day just by being uncommonly pleasant to them.

66. Most of what children learn from their parents isn’t taught on purpose.

67. The secret ingredient is usually butter, in obscene amounts.

68. It is worth re-trying foods that you didn’t like at first.

69. Problems, when they arise, are rarely as painful as the experience of fearing them.

70. Nothing — ever — happens exactly like you pictured it.

71. North Americans are generally terrible at accepting compliments and offers of help.

72. There are not enough women in positions of power. The world has suffered from this deficit for a long time.

73. When you break promises to yourself, you feel terrible. When you make a habit of it, you begin to hate yourself.

74. A good nine out of ten bad things I’ve worried about never happened. A good nine out of ten bad things that did happen never occurred to me to worry about.

75. You can’t hide a bad mood from people who know you well, but you can always be polite.

76. Sometimes you have to remove certain people from your life, even if they’re family.

77. Anyone can be calmed in an instant by looking at the ocean or the stars.

78. There is no point finishing a book you aren’t enjoying. Life is too short for that. Swallow your pride and put it down for good, unfinished.

79. There is no correlation between the price of a brand of batteries and how long they last.

80. Breaking new ground only takes a small amount more effort than you’re used to giving.

81. Life is a solo trip, but you’ll have lots of visitors. Some of them are long-term, most aren’t.

82. One of the best things you can do for your kids is take them on road trips. I’m not a parent, but I was a kid once.

83. The fewer possessions you have, the more they do for you.

84. Einstein was wiser than he was intelligent, and he was a genius.

85. When you’re sick of your own life, that’s a good time to pick up a book.

86. Wishing things were different is a great way to torture yourself.

87. The ability to be happy is nothing other than the ability to come to terms with how things change.

88. Killing time is an atrocity. It’s priceless, and it never grows back."

ciao.

BIG CHANGES..

ride the wave....

coming back from vacation may be the absolute worst thing ever (aside from unpacking from said vacation). worse than mondays. and you know what really makes it worse? you usually start back on a monday. terrible. i know i have said it before, and i will most certainly say it again, but my life was meant to be lived out on a coastline. this landlocked mess is for the birds. the ocean quite literally cures everything. everything i tell you, everything.

there is no stress next to the ocean, no decisions to be made (aside from when and where to eat, sleep or should i have one more beer - always yes to that one), no nagging feeling of doom, nothing. none of those things exist when you are beachside. well, i can't confirm that statement in it's entirety, but i can say from my own personal experience, it's hard to get stressed out when at the beach. things just don't seem to matter that much. it may be just the fact that you are away from the stressful city life, or perhaps it's because if you can't actively see the problems then they don't exist. but something about the beach is calming. for me, a self-described anxious/hyper/nervous/can't slow down person, that is a neat trick. i will take anything that can get me to sit and forget for longer than 5 seconds at a time. and you know what? the ocean most definitely isn't a suck-y place for that to happen. i am certainly never going to say no to a beach trip.

i've often told my mom that i would quit a job to go to the beach. she refused to believe me until recently. no, i didn't quit my job, but i made it very clear that i was going to spend as much time at the/a beach as possible. i accomplished that last summer. 4 beaches over 3 months. not too shabby. not too shabby at all. where do i go when the world is collapsing on me? the beach. there is a frantic phone call to mom, who runs the message to the requisite parties and then wham, i am at the beach. forgetting that i was having a nervous breakdown and remembering the little things in life.

now when i came back this time, all i could think about was when can i go surfing again. surfing beats the snot out of you, but for some reason i wanted more. i signed up for a surf lesson, and when i got out in the water and stood up on the board, i was hooked. it is absolutely amazing. there is so much focus involved, but you forget everything. you just feel the ocean, the salt and the breeze. then you realize you are standing on a floating time bomb. but man, it is fun for that ride. and then you get right back out there and do it again. arms burning, eyes stinging, heart racing. it is absolutely indescribable. trying to just doesn't do it justice. you have to experience it. i've always wanted to learn to surf, and now that i have learned the basics and can stand on a board, it is the final nail in the proverbial coffin proving that i belong in the water, near the water, viewing the water. all of it. total water baby.

however, work had a different plan for me. it was to test my limits on patience. i don't do patience. i've tried, and i can manage it, but boy do i hate it. here's a little breakdown for you:

-insurance fighting

-office cleaning (never ending cycle there)

-quickbooks maintenance - never leave darwin alone with qb's....

-car insurance fighting - mine and works

-enterprise fighting - they are idiots over there BUT i do have a rental

-bank account shuffling

-company policy shuffling

i know there are others, but that was a lot to take in on day 1. not too mention trying to calm darwin. i'm usually pretty good at it, but lately it had been him calming me, so i had to switch gears there, and that took a hot minute.

everything is resolved for now. until another crisis hits and i am left sweeping up the pieces. so now i just sit and wait for the next encounter with the beach...ahem september...i can almost taste it. ride the wave, and remember you can control it only so much before you have to relax and trust that you will find the top and can take a gasp of air.

ciao.

slow down. you move to fast.

it has been a minute since i have actually written something about work on here, aside from ya know being the commander in chief and all. now that darwin is back for longer than a 10 minute period, i can finally breathe for a second. i think i forgot to breathe for those two weeks that he was gone. just holding my breath until i was about to explode. i came damn near close to that explosion i will say. i staved it off, but phew, it was a close one.

now that things are relatively back to normal and by that i mean i am leaving next week for vacation, and it cannot come fast enough. atlanta, is silly hot. you begin to think you are melting the moment you step outside. it is absolutely disgusting and not a pretty look at all. AT.ALL.

so now i sit here typing this and multi-tasking like a champ. currently this is what i am doing:

-researching - CNG, california architects, sustainable design/architecture/building

-car shopping - groan.

-phone answering - in the least possible sense

-updating facebook/work blog

-vigilante money obtaining - borders upon stalking....

-perpetual cleaning of the office

-crafting ideas

-realizing that i am starving - that waffle at 745 this morning just ain't cutting it

it's a glamorous life i lead folks. g.l.a.m.o.r.o.u.s.

wouldn't change it for the world. i will say as much as i run the ins and outs of mississippi wood trader, when darwin is around, it seems to flow much smoother. it astounds me sometimes the level of incompetence some people have, right up until darwin calls them. i know i sound like i am 12. i know that. i know i am girl. i am WELL aware of that. but sometimes, really just once, i want someone to listen to what i say and realize that i do in fact know what i am talking about.

i relayed all this information to darwin and he said he was going to coach me in the ways of talking to customers. (let's hope it goes smoother than teaching me to drive a stick shift in the warehouse...). he told me i need to slow down. SLOW DOWN? me, ha. i don't know how to slow down. and he is one to talk i might add. but i am trying to get better about slowing down.

another mantra to add to 2011. slow down. stay calm. breathe. those are things i don't do very well. that and sleep. but that is neither here nor there. why sleep when there are 24 useable hours in a day? ha, i would love to be able to sleep longer that 4-6 hours a day. not a night, a day. who has two thumbs and is a huge fan of naps? this kid.

as the mantras keep stacking up, i am noticing a theme. they all correlate with each other, and i should take note of that. you can't do one without partially using another. but that would require me to slow down...sensing a pattern yet? you can bet the farm on that one.

so all in all i am doing better about not freaking out about the little stuff. it was touch and go there for a hot minute, with the whole car stolen charade. but i've slowly moved back on track and refocused my energy. wish me luck with that one.

oh if you perhaps would want to purchase a caterpillar forklift, i know where you can obtain one....

ciao.

p.s. i don't recommend googling california architects. they make you realize you are missing out living in a landlocked city. missing out hardcore....

back in the saddle again.

"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

oh ralph, words have never been more true. now if i could just find a way to actually follow said words....

flustered.

with darwin being gone for a week, i am back in the commander in chief saddle. i feel like i am at a rodeo riding a bull and holding on for dear life. by about 10:15 this morning, i was already flustered with today.

this past week was not my week to say the least:

-almost cried at work - ALMOST

-screwed up an order

-had my car stolen

-had my purse stolen

-had my rock climbing gear stolen

-had my camera stolen

-had my sunglasses stolen

-had my house broken into while i was there

needless to say, things have been rough.

BUT i am okay, and i am work currently playing commander in chief like i mentioned before. so that means that i get to put out all the fires. makes for an exciting monday. i am thinking that maybe i should just rename myself empress and do whatever i feel like doing. anyone in on that plan?

things i would do then:

-put in a zipline at work

-put in some sort of foam pit

-swimming pool

-monster trucks - i feel like it would be entertaining

-no fridays (we've already enacted that)

-no customer whining day. that would be fantastic

-everything would be done via e-mail. - well on our way for that....

-water balloon fight day/with a side of supersoakers...

-no cell phone day (week and or month)

i could get used to being empress...

ciao.

oh if you happen to find any or all these items: car, hobo wallet, rock climbing gear, ray-bans: please return them to me and in return you get to punch the culprit in the face for your awesomeness and the safe return of said items.

big girls don't cry. or do they?

girls aren't allowed to cry at work are they?

yep. didn't think so.

going to make this a long and treacherous day.

big girls don't cry. or do they? this one just might.

yay tuesday.

dancing hippos.

i know i've said this before, BUT i really really think we should abolish mondays. they are the absolute pits. they are always a disaster. never fails. monday comes along and wham, instant day ruiner. i do however have this theory that even if you eliminate monday from existence, some other day becomes monday. i've tested it. whatever day starts your "workweek" is monday, and it will about 76% of the time be terrible. it may not be terrible in the sense that lots of things go wrong (but they probably will), but it's almost a game of constant catch up. people want their stuff delivered early, or they want nothing to do with their order anymore, they needed their stuff the day they ordered it....you get the idea.

i also want to know if customers think we have the ability to just pull things out of thin air, because we most definitely do not. i can't just produce kiln dried, cut to spec, lumber. it's just ain't happening folks. ain't happening. plain and simple....i can barely keep up with what we do have in stock, much less keep up with finished lumber. which is precisely why we don't keep a great amount of finished lumber around. because invariably we will stock 6" material and people will want 5". instead of wasting a bunch of lumber and money, we keep rough cut material in the shop and cut it to order. makes for a much easier day. well, most days at least.

i understand the demand for getting orders done on time. i can promise you i really understand. there is no need to tell me. i get that people drag their feet right up to the last second and then they need faster than humanly possible. so i put a halt to that real quick and tell them the realistic time when something might be ready...MIGHT being the operative term there. a big ole fat might. i cannot make guarantees about scheduling. we've done it before and it always comes back to bite us in the butt. so we give you a ball park and then keep you updated along the way. it's MUUUUCH easier that way...

i also wish my boss would stop just disappearing. like right now for instance. no idea where he is. not even a vague clue. makes for a fun afternoon. we both left at the same time and i thought we were going to be arriving back at the same time...clearly i was mistaken.

oh mondays....

ciao.

p.s. i've decided to give this twitter nonsense a try. verdict is still out. it and facebook updates are beginning to take over some peoples worlds...i don't want to be one of those.

commander in chief.

i realize it has been a hot minute since my last post, but no i did not get taken in the rapture. i am still here, never fear. i will always be here. i currently am playing commander in chief at work. it is becoming pretty routine for me these days. one thing i will say that is beginning to drive me insane is when you ask someone to do something and it gets overlooked for whatever reason.

just to give you a bit of insight into my day: i have to handle most everything technical and darwin does more of the hands on. i as well do the hands on, but i have to make sure and keep the company legal, out of jail, etc. etc. etc. so some days i am on the phone with customer service explaining to them that no i am not the account holder, but they most certainly want to deal with me rather than the account holder...usually i can bully my way, but sometimes...

such as darwin's health insurance. they cancelled it, because they forgot to log a payment. and i was pissed, because there was no warning, just a letter stating it had been cancelled. SPECTACULAR. i call them and explain to the poor operator girl that she better straighten this out. she says and i quote "well, mrs. crawford, since you aren't on the account i cannot do anything further without speaking to mr. crawford..." a. i am not mrs. crawford. b. if i was mrs. crawford and i gave you all the necessary information to prove i was calling on behalf of mr. crawford, what on earth does it matter. c. i can promise you, you do not want me to go get "mr. crawford." she insisted on speaking to mr. crawford....didn't end well for her. led to talking to supervisors and darwin adding me to the account so that i call and "chew out the peons." (his words, not mine). fantastic...i love chewing people out.

another fun one that i have been dealing with is the bank. i can deposit money, write checks (and have darwin sign them), manage our money, pay our taxes, and so on, BUT i cannot do anything that involves taking money or talking to anyone about something that has gone wrong because i am not a signer on the account. totally fine by me, it's darwin's company. except when quickbooks decides to ruin my day. it has a nasty habit of ruining things for me. if it didn't tell me how to pay taxes, we would be a straight cash business with no quickbooks - that's how much i hate it. well it decided to electronically pay our federal taxes after i clicked it not to. apparently that just means it doesn't file the paperwork, but it doesn't inform you of that. i go on my merry way paying taxes and printing all the checks. then wham i get an email from quickbooks 2 days later saying the electronic payment has been processed. SAY WHAT! easiest way to ruin my thursday.

i call quickbooks. that poor man. i yelled at him and almost cried. i am not proud of the things i said, but he sent me over the edge when he said there was nothing quickbooks could do. here was my answer to that - so, you are telling me that you can take money away from me without my knowledge, but you have no way of returning it to me? that makes perfect sense. i really appreciate your absolute lack of help in this situation. it gives me great faith in quickbooks. really really does. - he apologized and this was my consolation prize - well when the check goes through and you've double paid i can help you sort that out when you pay your taxes for the next quarter. - oh gee that's just fanfuckingtastic.

i go to the bank to see how i can possibly repair this so darwin doesn't kill me. he tells me to do whatever i need to do, but he cannot and will not go down to the bank to straighten it out because it will not be a pretty sight...none of my usual bankers are there who know me and could help me out. so this woman tells me that i can't actually do anything because i am not a signer on the account....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. she gives me a number for darwin to call to get the whole mess straightened out. so he gets it straightened out finally. but the irs was not happy about receiving a check that had a stop payment put on it....ooops.

moral of the story. if you are in charge of running someone's life, make sure you are the signer on all things important...

ciao.

rapture is upon us folks...

whoever said the customer is always right clearly didn't own a small business or work for a small business....darwin has a tendency to push the "fuck it" button (excuse my english) and i have a tendency to root for the customer. then along comes that one customer to prove darwin right. some people should not be allowed to communicate. just straight up no more talking.

ordering something and then complaining about what you ordered is one of my pet peeves. i hate when people get something and then proceed to talk about how much they hate it. WHY DID YOU GET IT THEN??! i understand ordering something and it not being what you thought. BUT picking it out and learning the ins and outs of it and then paying for it...what on earth do you have to complain about? what do you mean it's not what we talked about? IT'S EXACTLY LIKE WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT. it's not what you had in mind? whhhhhy did you pick it then? you could have come to us and said, i want this, and we gladly would have recreated "this" for you. we do it all the time....

silly. absolutely silly.

when these things happen, darwin tends to explode and write a letter that i then have to read and re-write. he lets his anger get the best of him and out pops this letter that is fine to write to get your anger out, but you certainly don't ever, ever, ever, ever send it. that's where i step in and mark out what is inappropriate and edit it towards the diplomatic approach. the kill them with kindness if you will. he never likes my letters, but he does agree that they are much more diplomatic to send out. he would prefer his to go out and i tell him that is adorable and ain't happenin'.

oh on a side note...why does the government send letters that clearly show them in the wrong? i just have to print out a bunch of paperwork to fill out and show them that they clearly are in the wrong. now that is just wasteful AND annoying. i really like the late payment letter. the back of it says when payment is due and then when payment is received...ours is usually a good 5 days before payment is due, and they proceed to tell us it's late...malarkey. based on their own paperwork we aren't late. BUT it does mean that i get to use the word 'ergo' in a sentence, and i really enjoy that word. that and genesis...that one i don't get to use as often.

happy friday and day before the rapture or something...oh and the picture, 2 reasons: bruce willis and armageddon is fantastic (rapture and all...)

ciao.

wishing and hoping.

tim robbins once said: "...hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies." that quote is from his character andy dufresne in shawshank redemption for those of you living in a hole. perhaps a crater. i'm not entirely positive how you would not know this quote in some shape or fashion, unless you lived in a crater or on the moon. oh, yes on the moon, in a crater. that must be it.

my last post was about faith being a bluebird and believing in something and holding on tight. because if you don't believe in something then what exactly is your purpose? believe in whatever you want, cheese, chocolate, diet coke, puppies, naps, grammar, math, rainbows, unicorns, zombies, god, literature...whatever, just pick something. i have many things that i believe in, for better or for worse, i will always believe in them. even if someone tells you it is silly, keep on believing; prove them wrong. so there in lies the holding on tight. one thing i personally like to believe in is childhood. when you were a kid you believed you could do anything. you were out to prove to the world that you could in fact be WHATEVER you wanted. nothing was too preposterous to be when you grew up. i'm just having a hard time grappling with that whole growing up part. i've gotten older and i've stepped up to my responsibilities, but i'm still a little kid searching.

my entire life i've never known what i wanted to be when i grew up; mainly because i never actually wanted grow up. kind of like peter pan. but then again, i always knew that i wanted to do something with my life. i wanted to make my mark in some way. i didn't know what that would be, but i was sure as shit going to try and find out. i'm still trying to find out and one of these days i'll figure something out and let you know, but for the moment here's to hoping.

i've got a lot of faith in hope. and i've always been a very hopeful person. so i guess i've got that going for me. a lot of faith and even more hope. and dreams. so. many. dreams. and hey, if andy dufresne says that hope is a good thing and no good thing ever dies and morgan freeman believed him, then why on earth should i doubt him? that just would be silly and illogical.

at this exact moment, i am believing and have faith and hope in one thing in particular, aside from childhood, and that's a great company that is destined to do big (read: huge) things. and for right now, that's enough for me. maybe it won't always be, but it is for now, and i am okay with that. nothing is better than participating in something you believe in and seeing it grow to it's full potential. mark my words: nothing. absolutely nothing.

bluebirds.

so last year was not such a great year for us. it wasn't a particularly great year for anyone truthfully, but it was reallllll (pronounced ruhl) bad for us. we toyed with the idea of shutting down, cutting back hours, finding other things to do, move to tahiti...all the scenarios came through. (i still personally like the tahiti one...a girl can dream right?).

we made it though. we've got a few battle scars and we will never forget what we saw and experienced, but we are still here fighting the good fight. most days...we have learned that it is okay to take a day or week off. the company isn't going to fall apart. if you need a break, take the break. it does no one any good to sit around in a horrid stressed out mood...unless of course there is diet coke and i can annoy the ever living shit out of you...that i am reallllll GOOD at...realllll good.

there were a few highlights from last year despite all the terrible:

-believe in something, anything. just believe and hold on tight
-dream the impossible. dreams keep you sane.
-friends love you no matter your dollar amount net worth
-if they don't then they weren't true friends and karma will catch up...
-it's okay to ask for help (still working on that one...)
-big changes are scary, but exciting. just take the plunge.
-live without regrets. they require entirely too much energy to maintain.
-trust fully. without it, all you get are doubts.
-always trust yourself. you can do more than you think
-sometimes beer and ice cream do solve all of life's problems
-if you don't know the answer. fake it. most people just want an answer.
-faith is a blue bird

those are just some of the things that i have come to learn from 2010. oh i've also learned to take what darwin says with a grain of salt. normally he is correct and i listen to him. but i have also learned that we are really gung-ho to do something for about 2 weeks. then it fizzles. or that when he says he wants to wait to do something, he actually means he wants to do it right then. and that he wants to talk something out, but he's already made up his mind.

silly boys.

ciao.

"Faith is a blue bird, we see from far. It's for real and as sure as the first evening star, you can't touch it or buy it or wrap it up tight but it's there just the same, making things turn out right." - The Rescuers

crisis. management.

i do a lot of crisis management around here. i've learned to expect the unexpected or at least fake that i expected it to be coming. doesn't matter how ludicrous it is, someone will undoubtedly ask for it and you have to be on your toes. it makes for an awesome day.

take last week for instance. darwin decided that he wanted to be beach bum and leave me in charge of the company. -that rat bastard - so naturally, i said whatever and went right back to what i was doing. fast forward to the middle of the week, when darwin then tells me that i am in charge of this huge order that has to go out friday, and if it doesn't then we've lost a huge potential client. no pressure or anything....after wrestling with the freight company and finally getting that straight i figured i was in the clear. WRONG. they screwed up the pick-up date and thought it was the day that i started scheduling everything, not friday. son of a...we moved onto round three with the freight company. dot: 0 freight: 2. not good odds. i did however bully my way to a victory. it wasn't pretty and i was almost in tears, but i won.

friday rolls around and everything goes according to plan. so i am sitting pretty. i have managed to get all the ducks in a row and darwin isn't even town. amazing. i log out of work early, because i mean darwin is at the beach, so there is absolutely no reason for me to be there, and proceed on with my weekend. monday comes and everything is still kosher, the delivery is on time. tuesday hits.....cue impending doom music....i am at darwin's house (my new home office...pretty swanky) and i get a frantic phone call from the people who are receiving the material...uh oh...

the freight carrier decided that they weren't going to actually deliver it on time and were holding the material hostage. PHENOMENAL! so i race to work. call the freight company, get passed to about 80 gajillion people before anyone figures out what the heck i am talking about. i have to make up a release form - no, if you are wondering, there is no standard release form from the freight company, go figure...- and fax it off to the world of faxes and hope for the best. made for an exciting day and it was only 930.

the problem with crisis management is that once you solve one, it's then a waiting game for the next one. the other problem is that you can't hunker down and wait for the crisis - that would be a terrible existence - so instead you mosey along with your day/week/month/life and then wham blindsided by another crisis. i unfortunately don't usually get the month long respite, or even the week long for that matter....

ciao.

yep.

apparently i am really productive when i am in charge of the company. who knew?

lunching...

have you ever tried to find something delicious to eat when you are in the ghetto? if not, then you do not know the challenge involved in playing hide and go seek with appropriately edible foods at the lunchtime hour. i have however been faced with this struggle going on three years. i must say it is not an easy challenge to take on. you must face it with the full force of perhaps an angry lion if you want to make any progress. (believe you me, when darwin is hungry, you may have better odds with a lion...why do you think i call him lunchman?)

you could always take the easy route and choose from one of the many fried chicken emporiums that surround you on every corner. ms. winner's - church's - mcdonald's - kfc - all the staples. there is no chick-fil-a, zaxby's or anything of that nature, but i will say a ms. winner's chicken biscuit when you are hungover may be one of the greatest things since perhaps fried chicken itself. and let's not forget all the fried fish palaces. those are just delectable and ya know hurl worthy. mmmm week old fried unidentifiable fish. sounds appetizing right?

sometimes we get lucky and something like quizno's moves in. it lasted all of a month, if that. there is always the tried and true subway - but i would rather eat a deep fried shoe i think than gag down subway. it's just soo terrible. anything slightly okay, stays for a matter of long enough to realize their surroundings and then closes. it's really quite depressing. we've stopped trying to frequent new places that are delicious, nicely priced, and appropriate for us to enter, because they invariably close and we've become attached and then it's like a break-up and no-one likes those. no-one at all...

the worst one to date for us was Kabobee. it was single handedly the greatest lunch place we had for almost a solid year. then the day came, when darwin and i went for lunch and we were informed they were closing...(to become a seafood palace...). we hung our heads, had our last meal and asked if we could perhaps come to their house periodically for some delicious persian food. parma laughed, but we were serious. we came almost everyday, and then some. they knew us, we knew them. it was an amazing setup. i would give everything i have (which isn't much at the moment, but it's the thought) to be able to have another meal there. i was filing away 2010 papers and i found a lone Kabobee receipt, and i almost cried. who knew you could get so attached (let's be honest, we knew, we just chose to live in the dark about it, and push right on through without a worry in the world)?

so this post is dedicated to Kabobee and it's wonderfully delicious straight from home persian recipes. you will be missed and we promise to never forget you. if you could maybe find it in your hearts, to come back, we would greatly appreciate it...

ciao.

one of these days we are going to eat at GutBusters. mark my words....

what's a girl got to do, to get some beach action?

do you ever have those days where you want to politely (or not so politely) excuse yourself from the world and just run away for a little while? i've been thinking, with increasing notion, that this may be a good idea. everyone needs a little break, right? right? right? anyone? just a little break. nothing major. just an escape. oh, i like that better, an escape. it's rather like when you just want a brownie, or a chip, or some ice-cream. it smooths everything over just enough to get you back into the swing of things. a refresher if you will. nothing major or life-changing. just a chance to relax and forget about the stresses that come day to day.

perhaps a fruity drink with an umbrella in it would tide me over for a bit. probably not, but it may be my best option for now. i think me and the beach would get along quite well. i wouldn't be pushy or ask too many questions (i tend to ask too many questions...most of the time i don't want answers, they are just out loud musings.). i promise i really won't.

my best friend and her family were kind enough to take me to asheville, north carolina last weekend. that was a great reprieve. i did learn however that i am a beach kid to the core. the mountains are beautiful and picturesque, but there is just something about the beach. the smell, the waves, the sand, the salt. all of it. it made me miss the beach even more. mainly the beach as a kid. playing in the sand making castles. finding sand for the next three weeks after you've left the beach....

today has been rather eventful and has made darwin and i seriously rethink the way things run around the shop. nothing like calling the cops by 10:45 on a tuesday to get your day going. not one of our better mornings. none of it was our fault, but it means that security is going to be a lot tighter around the shop and that i probably in all likelihood won't ever be there alone again. or perhaps i should start carrying a gun. wouldn't that be entertaining? dot with a gun. ha.

so as much fun as the shop has been today: guy trying to sell me a fake-ass gold chain (ya know, to pay for his car getting worked on next door); cops; forklift driving; darwin in the rafters standing on the forklift...it's been a big day and i am glad to say that i am no longer sitting at the shop. it's not the beach or anything (that would make this tuesday far more exhilarating, not too mention, this blog probably wouldn't be written), but it most certainly is not the ghetto....but then again nothing really is.

ciao.

punch drunk.

mikey and rachel got married this weekend (my brother and my new sister). i am super excited for the two of them and couldn't be happier.

i also managed to give a speech without having a nervous breakdown. don't get me wrong, i tried very hard to have a nervous breakdown, i just managed to subdue it a bit....read: copious amount of beer. BUT i did it.

meanwhile back at the ranch, we are playing car roulette again.

keisha is officially brand new (again). new heart and back at the shop (well okay, fine, she is in route)

georgedolly is at the shop getting some new accessories (boys and their toys...)

the xterra is well, limping. it's not pretty. she and my and dog are old and tired.

the rover is sold. to some poor, poor soul who has no idea that it's going to implode

so we are down to 1.5 vehicles. amazing. out of 4, well really 3 because the rover is someone else's problem now, we have 2 and those are currently running at less than half capacity. TERRIBLE!

darwin wants to purchase an old jeep and run it on propane. now i've done the logic argument and ya know what? let him have his toy. (not like he wasn't going to purchase it anyway). i mean this is his company. his heart and soul and sweat equity have kept this place together, so why shouldn't he have his car project? not to mention he loves a good car project. he gets to be all manly and things. so of course: jeep project.

we tossed around the idea of leasing a honda civic. but, who honestly wants to drive a civic? they have absolutely no game. NONE. you flat out cannot look cool driving around a honda civic. i don't care what anyone says. you just can't.

now apparently i have been thrown the honda civic bone. my car according to darwin "worries him every time i get in it." well, that's reassuring. so now i am left with this conundrum. i don't want a new car. i want mine to do what it is built to do. (side note: while driving home for the wedding, the dashboard just stopped working for a little while....no speedometer, no odometer, no fuel gauge. nothing.) but it is 11 years old and it just keeps breaking. as much as i hate to admit, it's either sink a lot of money into it and fix it completely or it may be time to look at other options...i am heartbroken. absolutely heartbroken. not to mention i don't want a stupid honda civic....

so i got that going for me....

ciao.

mmmmm. i CANNOT wait to drive the new and improved keisha! WAHOOOO