paperwork.

it's monday and we are back here again:

paperwork.

can there be some sort of paperwork fairy that flies around with her/his magic wand and dust making all the paperwork be done, sorted, and handled accordingly?

i don't like being that magic fairy anymore. well let me restate that. i am okay with doing the paperwork once. even twice if i've got too, but we are on round 7, i believe, of getting this paperwork correct.

preferably not this guy...

do you know how many notaries that has required and how much time has been spent fighting with the printer, driving to a notary, driving to the post office, scanning paperwork, etc? no? me neither, and i frankly do not want to know.

after being on the phone with their lovely office administrator for this project, i believe (again i've certainly said this before) we have finally turned in the proper paperwork.

aside from that. it is beautiful here. so pretty in fact that i had my first pool day of the season yesterday. i am so excited that it is almost acceptable to be at the pool all day every weekend. because that means i can be in a swimsuit at all times. we all know what my main goal in life is: be somewhere where wearing swimsuits is acceptable at all times of the day...

it's been a rather uneventful few days around here. darwin was out of town friday, which meant that paperwork that needed to be turned in before he left was ultimately wrong and i had to hunt him down before he actually skiddadled (absolutely a word, i don't care what the dictionary says) out of town. so that was a fun morning for me. because it didn't just mean finding him to resign things, it meant fighting the printer as well. which always turns out to be a graceful affair for this kid...not. sailor like language, multiple head bangings, a lot of unplugging/plugging back in, and of course the occasional kicking and screaming at it. woosah. woosah. not so much.

here is a picture of a piece i was working on for darwin as a surprise. it still needs one more coat of finish. i have drawn up a couple of bases, so hopefully this piece can come together.

see that stack behind this? that's what i sifted and sorted through to get the heart pine the other day...

we've got a new set of pieces on our website (urbanreclaimed.com). it is a "matching" set of end tables. i say matching because they are from the same tree, but they are not exact matches on dimension. they are BEAUTIFUL though.... go.look.at.them.NOW

that's about all i got for the time being folks. not a very entertaining post i realize, but i am serious about the paperwork fairy. i'll chip in some meager coin for that to come to fruition. 

ciao. 

p.s. look at me with two pictures in one post...woaaaaah

toothfairsource

so much with so little.

i may not be the most eloquent person (writing, speaking, etc.), but when it comes to pulling something off for a deadline, with very little to work with and very little time, well let's just say i am pretty good at pulling the proverbial rabbit out of the proverbial hat.

so this story i promise has a point and i may get to it by the end, if, and that's a big IF, i can remember where i was going when i started. ---again not one of my best qualities. perhaps i should start outlining my blog posts or maybe even writing down just key points...who am i kidding, that is most certainly never going to happen and takes out the fun "word vomit" approach i am so fond of these days.

back to the rambling - yes i know you can hardly contain your excitement - and on with my story.

it is a long roundabout story, that is further explained here Urban Reclaimed (read the dinner expo bit), so i will spare you all the details and you can go there and read for yourself/selves(?) - whatever. long story short, darwin approached me about 3 weeks ago about doing some tables for an underground dinner club for our friend rob. (UGDC - Push Start Kitchen (yes their latest post pertains to this post as well), Rob - I Love LA Eats - these links are making my brain hurt...)

well those three weeks drifted by quickly and we are approaching said deadline...ahem friday...

let me back-peddle a bit and state for the record that i was not entirely in favor of doing these tables...i send my mea culpas out now, but at the time (and currently) we were juggling a lot of projects that involved micromanaging money...ugh, and i just didn't have it in me to put another thing on the list...

but with enough badgering and coaxing full of backhanded compliments, darwin and rob sold me on the idea. so that meant my last week was sent scrambling to find metal fabricators....that is the easy part...the hard part you ask? finding one that doesn't cost you more than your entire life savings to make one silly little base in the shape of an inverted trapezoid...jesus pete. i fear a purchasing of metal fabricating equipment in our near future....

yes that is me in the background. darwin wanted to use me as a reference point...

well we (read: i) remembered our good friend MC over at Lemay Designs (i know, i know, again with the links) and she has graciously offered to help us under this intense deadline. she is so amazing that she has actually already sent me a picture of one of the bases. WOOOO..

yesterday, i thought was going to be a harmless day of gathering supplies, driving to bumble, and dropping off supplies (along with lunch...life lesson number 2, never let the bossman get hungry), dropping off snacks for later and turning my little red jetta around and fleeing back to atlanta. i was mistaken. horribly, horribly mistaken.

i am getting ready to leave atlanta, when darwin sends me a text about how i am going to be sanding the cedar slabs (that's what the tables are being made from if i didn't already state that) while he goes to a meeting. translation: you will be sanding these because i am tired of doing it.

with supplies in hand, i drive on out to bumble world. i arrive with lunch and snacks as to be expected. i eat my lunch. and then my day ends with a preposterous amount of sawdust up my nose. granted, i rather like sanding things. it's calming - i don't do calm. the sawdust up my nose, i could do without, but it's cedar and it is a scent of the gods. no moths will be living up my nose any time soon. (bad, bad joke. well aware)

as of right now i seem to be making this deadline work. i am not going to jinx anything though, because after all, it's only wednesday and there is a lot of time for things to go horribly awry.

i said i would remember the point of this, but alas, i don't. just another post about the day in the life of working for a small business that has taken on starting another small business under it...

yay small business! (that was a serious yay, not a sarcastic yay)

ciao.

the smoking gun. err, dashboard...

so, i am back from the beach. i came back kicking and screaming. well mainly just screaming. it's hard to kick and drive at the same time. the week went by too fast. it was absolutely glorious though. GLORIOUS!

my sister-in-law, Rachel, went paddle boarding with me. i wouldn't say she went willingly; i mainly bullied her into it because i didn't want to go alone. i will say, she was a trooper and did quite well. she did ask me to go shopping with her on many occasion, but i just couldn't bear to leave the beach.

i realized that i am a person who is going 90 mph at all times. no stopping, no slowing down, no sleeping. just going, going, going. but when i get to the beach (and this may be true of all water, but i am going to say the beach) i stop. everything slows down. granted, i am still doing about 45 mph, but i'll take it. something about the ocean calms me. that is not an easy task folks. i have been trying unsuccessfully for the past 25 (yes, 25) years to figure that one out, and apparently all i need is the ocean.

now that i am back to reality, i am back to cramming as much in the day as possible. this move may be the death of darwin and i. we realized on monday that we have until next friday to finish everything. EVERYTHING. the inside is mainly done. just a few things that can't be packed up until darwin is finished milling, but most everything has been cleared. the yard. well the yard is a slow process that is going to require most of our weekend to tackle.

i was driving keisha to the new shop with a load of miscellaneous crap on tuesday and there i was jumping onto 285 from 20 and i look down and she is smoking out the dashboard. well hello, this is a problem. i pull over on 285 and try not to get hit by any semis, and call darwin. thankfully this time he actually answered his phone. i told him calmly (rather panically) that keisha's dashboard was smoking. he told me to turn her off (way ahead of you there) and turn off all the switches (propane and veggie oil) - also way ahead there- and wait a minute to see if it stops. so it stopped. he told me it was probably fine, but if it started again to call him back because i was going to have to perform keisha emergency surgery.

WHAT! oh, this is just what i want to hear....

so we pull back on to 285 and la la la la i look down and keisha starts smoking again. i pull off, get to a sketchy gas station (sketchy at best) and call darwin. HERE WE GO. pop the hood. see the wire coming off the battery on the driver side, clip that from the battery and the plug. the close the propane tank. if that doesn't work then leave the truck and run away and don't tell me about it, because that means there is a problem with the factory wiring and....(you get the idea)

so here i am. in the ghetto, scrounging around keisha for some form of useful tool to clip wire. i can find no shortage of screw drivers, an ipod shuffle (which darwin though he lost), a bungee chord, some headphones, a tape, and of course nothing to clip wire with. i am standing in the back of keisha basically inside the toolbox looking for something, anything. grasping at straws at this point. then i hear this rickety voice screaming at me, that i don't belong in a truck and i shouldn't be driving that big thing, and i need to get out the back of it before i hurt myself. i look up and see this man approaching the truck. now normally this would have made me nervous, but i was PISSED. i shot him the look of death and scream WHAT DO YOU WANT? he promptly pivoted and walked away. after scrounging and being yelled at, i remember: I PUT BANDING SHEARS IN ONE OF THESE BOXES! yes! problem solved. button keisha back up and we are on our merry little way to get the hell out the ghetto.

problem solving folks. problem solving.

ciao.

catching a drift...

it's thursday. which means tomorrow is friday. which in tandem means: no work and the beach! WOOOOOO!! i cannot wait to get away from atlanta. i love atlanta, well most of the time, but right now i want out. in quite possibly the worst way possible. i don't want to play anymore. i want to sit by the ocean, drink beer, eat copious amounts of seafood, and watch the world melt away. that seems fantastic...

whoever tells you that moving isn't stressful and will be pain free, should be shot in the face right then in there. no questions asked, no waiting to see if they are kidding, no nothing. they should be shot. granted our move hasn't been terrible (i think i just called myself out here). but seriously, i have organized the move within and inch of it's life. i mean come on, i am good at organizing. we have almost completed the warehouse. the yard, well the yard is a whole 'nother story completely. i knew that was going to be a bitch from day one. it always is. staring at me with that smug - there is nothing you can do about me - face. that is if it were a person of course instead of an inanimate object, but you catch my drift.

ahhh drift. to be adrift. tomorrow tomorrow. focus. focus.

well i'm shot now. all i can think about it sand, salt and sea. the three major food groups of the soul. well my soul anyhow.

but seriously. moving. it's sucks any way you plan it. it's daunting unless you can do it in stages. or when you realize that half the stuff (more like 3/4) you thought you had to move isn't yours. SCORE. we also got inspected by the fire marshal. because you know what is useful. getting inspected when you have a month left on your lease and you have been there over 3 years. seems like a good a time as any. oh, did i forget to mention that we have never had one before? yea that's right. NEVER.

so we weren't quite up to snuff on all of our codes, but the guy was nice and let it slide and said to fix it and told me when he would be back to make sure i had fixed it. then darwin opens his big mouth...i swear. he told me to handle the fire marshal and then he decides that he wants to butt in on things and talk with the dude. i could of kicked him. if we were all sitting at a table i would have, or maybe thrown my knife at him. i had it covered. the paperwork was signed and we were ready to go. JESUS PETE!

now, i should have clearly seen that coming from a mile away. you know. boys being boys. i've got to make sure that everything is in working order. i'm not an idiot, i got it covered. you do leave me in charge of your company and made me cfo....remember????????????????

silly boys. when will they ever learn?

ciao.


THE BEACH!!!

it's my party....

sometimes, i am a firm believer that the government is out to get me and perpetually ruin my day. today, practically solidifies my belief. now, anyone who is not just a total waste of space knows that taxes have to get paid. and, by "have to" i mean, totally voluntary but the government will more than likely hunt you down and make you pay out the ass for your mistake....which always makes for a fun day at the post office. (well maybe just for the people standing next to me, when i spaz out and remember yelling profanities in public places is frowned upon. so naturally i mutter them under my breath like a crazy person)

i used to get this letter all the time, telling me that my sales tax payment was late....well guess what GA DOR (georgia department of revenue for you that are abbreviation challenged), i've got news for you.

1. how can i file taxes for a company that doesn't exist?
2. i filed taxes once we got our lovely little "number" from you
3. i filed the back taxes on one page - that was apparently the fatal mistake but not my fault...that would be the quickbooks helper idiot
4. how can one owe more money than the company has made in total sales?
5. how can your dated letter be later than the date on the calendar?
6. my personal favorite - my file by date and my date of return receipt are a good 5 days apart, with the latter being filed sooner than date due...so how does that make me late again?
7. your website to pay sales tax is quite possible the most ill-designed thing i have ever tried to navigate - that's saying a lot because our website is pretty horrific....
8. i hate you
9. i like you a little because i get to you the word 'ergo' in my rebuttal, but then i hate you all over again
10. you waste paper, time and quite frankly, space.

this list could go on for quite a while, but i am sure you get the idea. this is no love-hate relationship. this is a hate-hate relationship. i've gotten pretty good at telling them they are wrong, but it is such a waste of time, not to mention paper. they inevitably send you a letter back stating they received yours and they will get back to you...still waiting on that one....so all in all it totals about 18 pieces of paper that have exchanged hands. stupid. like i said...total waste

so pay your taxes or don't. pay them on time or don't. it apparently doesn't really matter in the end if you are a law abiding small business (law abiding used loosely there) who pays taxes on time they will still try and find a way to screw you over.

oh. yesterday marked my 3 years at work. yes. 3 WHOLE YEARS. that means multiple things. such as:

-i've been out of college for 3 years
-i graduated from high school 7 years ago
-i'm almost 25
-this may be the longest relationship i have ever had
-i've been in atlanta for 3 years
-i have not gone insane (some days that is debatable at best...)

woah. just woah.

ciao.


p.s. check out the september issue of Atlanta magazine and see darwin. pretty cool stuff...

dancing hippos.

i know i've said this before, BUT i really really think we should abolish mondays. they are the absolute pits. they are always a disaster. never fails. monday comes along and wham, instant day ruiner. i do however have this theory that even if you eliminate monday from existence, some other day becomes monday. i've tested it. whatever day starts your "workweek" is monday, and it will about 76% of the time be terrible. it may not be terrible in the sense that lots of things go wrong (but they probably will), but it's almost a game of constant catch up. people want their stuff delivered early, or they want nothing to do with their order anymore, they needed their stuff the day they ordered it....you get the idea.

i also want to know if customers think we have the ability to just pull things out of thin air, because we most definitely do not. i can't just produce kiln dried, cut to spec, lumber. it's just ain't happening folks. ain't happening. plain and simple....i can barely keep up with what we do have in stock, much less keep up with finished lumber. which is precisely why we don't keep a great amount of finished lumber around. because invariably we will stock 6" material and people will want 5". instead of wasting a bunch of lumber and money, we keep rough cut material in the shop and cut it to order. makes for a much easier day. well, most days at least.

i understand the demand for getting orders done on time. i can promise you i really understand. there is no need to tell me. i get that people drag their feet right up to the last second and then they need faster than humanly possible. so i put a halt to that real quick and tell them the realistic time when something might be ready...MIGHT being the operative term there. a big ole fat might. i cannot make guarantees about scheduling. we've done it before and it always comes back to bite us in the butt. so we give you a ball park and then keep you updated along the way. it's MUUUUCH easier that way...

i also wish my boss would stop just disappearing. like right now for instance. no idea where he is. not even a vague clue. makes for a fun afternoon. we both left at the same time and i thought we were going to be arriving back at the same time...clearly i was mistaken.

oh mondays....

ciao.

p.s. i've decided to give this twitter nonsense a try. verdict is still out. it and facebook updates are beginning to take over some peoples worlds...i don't want to be one of those.

commander in chief.

i realize it has been a hot minute since my last post, but no i did not get taken in the rapture. i am still here, never fear. i will always be here. i currently am playing commander in chief at work. it is becoming pretty routine for me these days. one thing i will say that is beginning to drive me insane is when you ask someone to do something and it gets overlooked for whatever reason.

just to give you a bit of insight into my day: i have to handle most everything technical and darwin does more of the hands on. i as well do the hands on, but i have to make sure and keep the company legal, out of jail, etc. etc. etc. so some days i am on the phone with customer service explaining to them that no i am not the account holder, but they most certainly want to deal with me rather than the account holder...usually i can bully my way, but sometimes...

such as darwin's health insurance. they cancelled it, because they forgot to log a payment. and i was pissed, because there was no warning, just a letter stating it had been cancelled. SPECTACULAR. i call them and explain to the poor operator girl that she better straighten this out. she says and i quote "well, mrs. crawford, since you aren't on the account i cannot do anything further without speaking to mr. crawford..." a. i am not mrs. crawford. b. if i was mrs. crawford and i gave you all the necessary information to prove i was calling on behalf of mr. crawford, what on earth does it matter. c. i can promise you, you do not want me to go get "mr. crawford." she insisted on speaking to mr. crawford....didn't end well for her. led to talking to supervisors and darwin adding me to the account so that i call and "chew out the peons." (his words, not mine). fantastic...i love chewing people out.

another fun one that i have been dealing with is the bank. i can deposit money, write checks (and have darwin sign them), manage our money, pay our taxes, and so on, BUT i cannot do anything that involves taking money or talking to anyone about something that has gone wrong because i am not a signer on the account. totally fine by me, it's darwin's company. except when quickbooks decides to ruin my day. it has a nasty habit of ruining things for me. if it didn't tell me how to pay taxes, we would be a straight cash business with no quickbooks - that's how much i hate it. well it decided to electronically pay our federal taxes after i clicked it not to. apparently that just means it doesn't file the paperwork, but it doesn't inform you of that. i go on my merry way paying taxes and printing all the checks. then wham i get an email from quickbooks 2 days later saying the electronic payment has been processed. SAY WHAT! easiest way to ruin my thursday.

i call quickbooks. that poor man. i yelled at him and almost cried. i am not proud of the things i said, but he sent me over the edge when he said there was nothing quickbooks could do. here was my answer to that - so, you are telling me that you can take money away from me without my knowledge, but you have no way of returning it to me? that makes perfect sense. i really appreciate your absolute lack of help in this situation. it gives me great faith in quickbooks. really really does. - he apologized and this was my consolation prize - well when the check goes through and you've double paid i can help you sort that out when you pay your taxes for the next quarter. - oh gee that's just fanfuckingtastic.

i go to the bank to see how i can possibly repair this so darwin doesn't kill me. he tells me to do whatever i need to do, but he cannot and will not go down to the bank to straighten it out because it will not be a pretty sight...none of my usual bankers are there who know me and could help me out. so this woman tells me that i can't actually do anything because i am not a signer on the account....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. she gives me a number for darwin to call to get the whole mess straightened out. so he gets it straightened out finally. but the irs was not happy about receiving a check that had a stop payment put on it....ooops.

moral of the story. if you are in charge of running someone's life, make sure you are the signer on all things important...

ciao.

bluebirds.

so last year was not such a great year for us. it wasn't a particularly great year for anyone truthfully, but it was reallllll (pronounced ruhl) bad for us. we toyed with the idea of shutting down, cutting back hours, finding other things to do, move to tahiti...all the scenarios came through. (i still personally like the tahiti one...a girl can dream right?).

we made it though. we've got a few battle scars and we will never forget what we saw and experienced, but we are still here fighting the good fight. most days...we have learned that it is okay to take a day or week off. the company isn't going to fall apart. if you need a break, take the break. it does no one any good to sit around in a horrid stressed out mood...unless of course there is diet coke and i can annoy the ever living shit out of you...that i am reallllll GOOD at...realllll good.

there were a few highlights from last year despite all the terrible:

-believe in something, anything. just believe and hold on tight
-dream the impossible. dreams keep you sane.
-friends love you no matter your dollar amount net worth
-if they don't then they weren't true friends and karma will catch up...
-it's okay to ask for help (still working on that one...)
-big changes are scary, but exciting. just take the plunge.
-live without regrets. they require entirely too much energy to maintain.
-trust fully. without it, all you get are doubts.
-always trust yourself. you can do more than you think
-sometimes beer and ice cream do solve all of life's problems
-if you don't know the answer. fake it. most people just want an answer.
-faith is a blue bird

those are just some of the things that i have come to learn from 2010. oh i've also learned to take what darwin says with a grain of salt. normally he is correct and i listen to him. but i have also learned that we are really gung-ho to do something for about 2 weeks. then it fizzles. or that when he says he wants to wait to do something, he actually means he wants to do it right then. and that he wants to talk something out, but he's already made up his mind.

silly boys.

ciao.

"Faith is a blue bird, we see from far. It's for real and as sure as the first evening star, you can't touch it or buy it or wrap it up tight but it's there just the same, making things turn out right." - The Rescuers

wild goose chase

have you ever had one of those days when nothing goes according to plan? i have those days quite a bit around the lumberghettoyard. there is no way to really predict what will go wrong (or in fact how terrible it will really be), but it is guaranteed. you just kind of close one eye and squint and hope for the best.

well tuesday i was tasked with stamping the ends of freshly cut timbers with our logo and then also putting the dimensions on the ends of them. not a terribly difficult task. i found some bright pink spray paint and wandered outside. first timber goes well, stamped and later dimensions added (that task was added later). second timber...bright pink spray paint explodes in my hand. pink spray paint is everywhere: covering both of my hands, down one of my arms, all over my uggs, and in my hair. it was like a rave gone horribly wrong. i tried without success to get the paint off. i keep finding remnants of it, and also it turns out that if you have blond hair, yea pink spray paint isn't coming out. just my luck. so looks like i've got pink paint to keep me entertained for the foreseeable future.

this is not the worst thing to happen to me, not even close. that actually is something that i should have come to expect after all this time. what i didn't expect was to walk in to jersey mike's one day and call darwin and ask him if he wanted me to get him a sandwich and to be greeted with: "i threw it out the window." - you threw what out the window? - "it took me to the wrong side of (expletive, expletive) town and i threw it out the window. it's gone." - excuse me, what, what is gone? - "the gps, i threw it out the window." - well okay, do you want a sandwich? - "get me the biggest expletive sandwich you can, and order a new gps." - well alrighty then.

you just never know what storm you are going to walk into around here. i handle them fairly well, but the gps one caught me off guard. i just didn't think a grown man would throw a gps out the window...clearly, that is a lie, i totally expected it. i mean, i've been frustrated and all, but i don't think it would occur to me to throw a gps out the window. maybe hurtle a phone across a room, but certainly not out of a moving vehicle. (well okay maybe occasionally, but honestly who hasn't?)

i learned a few valuable things that day: gps(es) do lie (proven fact), throwing things will fix them (logical), don't poke the bear, feed boys regularly (if you don't, they become cranky and whiney and apparently angry at the world), and of course, never, ever question the logic of a hungry guy who has been taken on a wild goose chase, when he tells you that he threw the gps out the window...ah the little lessons in life.

oh. the new gps...she certainly has a stutter...it's adorable.

hogwash. hooey. poppycock. fatuity. mumbo jumbo.

it's monday. thanksgiving is in three days. this means that all hell is going to break loose at work. it's inevitable. work right before the holidays is silly crazy. i've already sent out a flooring quote, wandered the warehouse looking for more material (alas...), ignored the phone like a pro (let's be honest i am already really good at that one), craig's listed, answered back-logged e-mails, and naturally trolled the internet for something to entertain me...this is what i came across:

"This is what you shall do: Be loyal to what you love, Be true to the Earth, and Fight your enemies with passion and laughter." - Edward Abbey

It seems rather fitting for a week like this. Where no doubt it is going to be full throttle, gloves on, game face present, and crazy to the last second...it always happens this way, and you would think approaching my 3rd thanksgiving, i would be able to recognize it a little sooner. if it gives you any idea of how crazy things are here, we were going to be closed for the whole week...you see how that's working out for me. sitting at the warehouse, with the dogs (the sweet babies in the picture..coney and then praia in the back), hot chocolate (extremely cold from being purchased at 845 this morning...no, we don't have a microwave, that's just ludicrous), phone buzzing, and not a worry in the world.

i can honestly say i have never been more lost than i am right now, but strangely enough i have never been happier and more okay with it. crazy how life's curve balls turn out. i was loyal to what i loved, true to what i believed (and the earth), and fought tooth and nail. so i guess mr. edward abbey, i achieved your quote. (well, mostly. let's not split hairs here.) so there. beat that...ha

BUT i did almost fall in the toilet 3 times in the past 2 weeks. and i mean literally almost fell in the toilet, none of that figurative malarkey. LITERALLY. if you work with only guys, or live with guys, you come to find out that them putting that toilet seat down is just a pesky mundane task that often gets overlooked. perhaps they think of it as more of a suggestion....hence the toilet episodes. i politely asked (told that it would not be a good day for whoever i encountered if i fell in said toilet) that they please put the seat down, not even the cover, just the seat. (not too terribly much to ask right?). i was promptly greeted with laughter and how they thought it would be absolutely hilarious if i actually fell in...good grief charlie brown, i just can't win around here....

oh thank god thanksgiving is only 3 days away...three long, toilet seat up days away...

p.s. expect to hear my screams when i fall in, because it is going to happen. i will probably scream, laugh, cry, and scream again. it will be one of my better moments...

enjoy this little gem...

lazy magnolia...

mississippi wood trader, this is dorothy, how may i help you? - uh, yea i am looking to see if you guys sell wood...DOH!

why is it called mississippi wood trader? is there another in mississippi? are you from mississippi? - well you see darwin is from mississippi. - oh so he started it there? - um well no, he started it here, but he thought the name was cool since he is from mississippi. - oh clever...

yes ma'am, i would like to purchase a slab for a table. - not a problem, what in particular were you looking for? - oh something cheap but big. say maybe $100? - oh well, yea, err. NO

can i talk to someone who knows about wood? - sure i would be happy to help you. - no i mean someone like the guy i talked to last time. - oh, darwin, right. well he isn't here, i can help you if you would like. - no i'll come back when he is here.

these are some of the absurdities i deal with on a given day. i do however have one absolute favorite question that was ever posed to me, and it happened when darwin and i were in mississippi.

trade shows are fine and dandy. especially when they are at your boss' old high school and they are offering you free booze in bucket size quantities. now people in mississippi know how to drink. don't get me wrong, i can keep up with the best of them, but man they sure can put back some alcohol. and quickly i might add. this is the location of the best question of all time.

let me preface a little bit about this. darwin and i always get asked the same question, or sometimes it is just stated to us like a fact. "you two are together and own your own company. that is just the greatest." or "so you two are dating right?" we used to try and explain, but then we gave up and just went with it, because people believe what they want and no amount of denial, no matter how eloquent and true, will sway them otherwise.

after about the 18 millionth time of this happening, darwin and i just began to laugh and smile and nod. it works much better in the long run. and after about 6 lazy magnolia beers to their 12, you will say just about anything to get people to buy stuff. now, here's where the good part starts. up marches miss tipsy teetering mississippi housewife. "NOW that slab is just absolutely beautiful!" (said dripping in southern slurring voice). why yes ma'am, it is quite beautiful. it would make an amazing statement piece. "WHY yes yes it would. Now does that say $120,000? Why it is beautiful, but wow that is a price tag. Oh wait, that says $12,000. Well that is certainly more afordable. - SAY WHAT?! "oh, my goodness, i don't have my glasses on. what exactly does that say? - "$1,200 ma'am." - "well that certainly makes much more sense. i want that, let me find my husband...." teeters off to never been seen again.

all i could do at that point to stifle my laughter, was to proceed to drink. i told darwin the story, and he told me that if i would have sold her that piece of wood for $12,000, i could of had half...hmmm.. OH LADY.....

adventures in lumbering. never a dull moment. always something you would never expect. absolutely phenomenal. oh and watch out for the drinking mississippi housewives, they'll sneak up on you every time...