lazy magnolia...

mississippi wood trader, this is dorothy, how may i help you? - uh, yea i am looking to see if you guys sell wood...DOH!

why is it called mississippi wood trader? is there another in mississippi? are you from mississippi? - well you see darwin is from mississippi. - oh so he started it there? - um well no, he started it here, but he thought the name was cool since he is from mississippi. - oh clever...

yes ma'am, i would like to purchase a slab for a table. - not a problem, what in particular were you looking for? - oh something cheap but big. say maybe $100? - oh well, yea, err. NO

can i talk to someone who knows about wood? - sure i would be happy to help you. - no i mean someone like the guy i talked to last time. - oh, darwin, right. well he isn't here, i can help you if you would like. - no i'll come back when he is here.

these are some of the absurdities i deal with on a given day. i do however have one absolute favorite question that was ever posed to me, and it happened when darwin and i were in mississippi.

trade shows are fine and dandy. especially when they are at your boss' old high school and they are offering you free booze in bucket size quantities. now people in mississippi know how to drink. don't get me wrong, i can keep up with the best of them, but man they sure can put back some alcohol. and quickly i might add. this is the location of the best question of all time.

let me preface a little bit about this. darwin and i always get asked the same question, or sometimes it is just stated to us like a fact. "you two are together and own your own company. that is just the greatest." or "so you two are dating right?" we used to try and explain, but then we gave up and just went with it, because people believe what they want and no amount of denial, no matter how eloquent and true, will sway them otherwise.

after about the 18 millionth time of this happening, darwin and i just began to laugh and smile and nod. it works much better in the long run. and after about 6 lazy magnolia beers to their 12, you will say just about anything to get people to buy stuff. now, here's where the good part starts. up marches miss tipsy teetering mississippi housewife. "NOW that slab is just absolutely beautiful!" (said dripping in southern slurring voice). why yes ma'am, it is quite beautiful. it would make an amazing statement piece. "WHY yes yes it would. Now does that say $120,000? Why it is beautiful, but wow that is a price tag. Oh wait, that says $12,000. Well that is certainly more afordable. - SAY WHAT?! "oh, my goodness, i don't have my glasses on. what exactly does that say? - "$1,200 ma'am." - "well that certainly makes much more sense. i want that, let me find my husband...." teeters off to never been seen again.

all i could do at that point to stifle my laughter, was to proceed to drink. i told darwin the story, and he told me that if i would have sold her that piece of wood for $12,000, i could of had half...hmmm.. OH LADY.....

adventures in lumbering. never a dull moment. always something you would never expect. absolutely phenomenal. oh and watch out for the drinking mississippi housewives, they'll sneak up on you every time...