once upon a time, there was a 21 year old female college graduate who was unemployed. now you may be wondering who on earth i could be talking about. it's me silly. hahaha, i'm so clever i know. this is the story of how i came to be working for this lovely little operation (i resisted the urge to rewrite the fresh prince with my own lyrics...) down here in the ghetto of atlanta (wave to the ted when you come down, or the dome, or the crackhead; whatever suits your fancy).
i graduated from the university of georgia in may of 2008. i was happy to be done with school, but that awesomeness was soon deflated by moving and realizing i had no job. and not only did i have no job, i had no idea what i wanted to do with my life. who does when they are 21? if you are one of those people that does, then i will warn you of what is about to happen. i hate you. there i said it, i hate you. there are just too many options to be bothered with picking one silly little day job. so i naturally did what any graduate does: move in with best friend in a new city, check; "look" for jobs from approximately 11-1, check; go to the pool all summer long, double check. that made for a great summer for me, until i got the call of death: "listen we love you and are proud of your accomplishments, but GET A JOB!" point taken...let the search commence.
once i was thoroughly convinced that i was not actually employable, my uncle calls me and says that he met this guy, darwin, who sell really cool wood. eh, okay. he needs someone to help him out a couple of days a week, so i gave him your e-mail and phone number. eh, okay. it was one of those rare mornings that i was up at 630 (those are still rare...) and received a phone call at 7 and answered it (also another rarity). low and behold it was darwin, wanting to know if i could come in that day and talk with him about working there. sure sure of course of course; when, where, how on earth do i get there? the ghetto you say, ah i know a thing or two about ghetto hopping, sure i'll be there at 11, sounds magical. so i go and can say i am immediately awestruck at what i see. a. the ghetto (that was no joke, might have hit a crackhead with a shopping cart full of cans to recycle...) b. a giant warehouse painted blue c. people running around like chickens with their heads cut off cutting up wood....this could be fun. i find darwin, easier said that done. and we chat for oh all of 10 minutes and he looks at me and says can you start tomorrow, say come in around 9? uh, tomorrow? as in the day after today, as in approximate 22 hours? yea, i mean i guess...i'll have to check my busy calendar, who am i kidding, OF COURSE. next question: can you work quickbooks? uh, stammer stammer, sure? darwin: works for me...alrighty deal, one catch though, i am going to the beach on friday (ahem, exhibit a of why corporate america and me just don't jive) and won't be back until next thursday. darwin: sounds fun, have a good time, see you tomorrow. well alright then, looks like i have just become partially employed. score one for dot....
so i've been at work for let's say 2 weeks or so, it's almost my birthday (i am a toddler about my birthday, really a toddler in general, but if presents are involved you can bet your ass i will be more excited than any little kid could ever be), and i have just begun to learn the ropes. answer the phone, tell them yes yes we most certainly can do that, write everything down, pass said papers to darwin. approximately 1 out of 5 actually will get read and you just have to keep reshuffling and hand them to him again. not efficient, but i've only been here 2 weeks. i didn't know back then that i could actually bully darwin into paying attention for longer than a nanosecond or that it really is hard to get in trouble around here, short of setting the place on fire of course...well this is when darwin tells me, hey HGTV filmed me a couple of months ago for a segment they did on green companies (or something of the like). i nod along, not entirely knowing where this is going...and he goes, so they want to come film some more and maybe give us a tv show...SAY WHAT? they are coming thursday (or something) so just a heads up. i work thursdays...okay, WAIT WAIT WAIT, thursday is my birthday...could a birthday get any better than that? needless to say, it can't. except when they start asking you all these awkward questions....
do you worry about what your friends think of your job?
uh, what? i mean, what? no i never really thought about it.
do you care that you smell like sawdust at the end of the day?
well, seeing as how i've smelled sawdust since before i can remember, i am going to have to say no. i actually love the smell and wouldn't change it for anything.
how do you get customers to pay outstanding bills?
ex-girlfriend style. (what?). oh you want me to explain? okay, we start off real nice, just want to chat things over. then we call again, a little less agreeable, then we call again and we just are downright angry and annoying. just like an ex-girlfriend. it works well, and people will pay because they are tired of seeing the phone light up with our number...
here is the humdinger of all humdinger questions: so do you have a crush on your boss?
uh, what? (keep in mind i have to repeat these questions when i answer them...) do i have a crush on my boss? well, that is a loaded question, huh? i mean, he is 26 (? i think) and has his own business, what's not attractive about that...(of course it probably wasn't as eloquent and i probably looked like a tomato, but whatever).
judging by the first two weeks, i could tell that this place was going to be fun and probably get me into a lot of trouble. but ya know what, asking for forgiveness is a lot easier than asking for permission in my book...
now here we are over 2 years later and i am still here. i've learned a lot, like how to calculate board foot (or what it is for that matter), but not just about lumber. i've learned the stress of running a small business, of dealing with snot nosed customers, dealing with snot nosed vendors, how to smile through it all and most importantly how to use a really really southern accent to your advantage. try it some time ladies, it is like a wonder drug. i guess that's probably not the most important thing, it's probably something soft and cuddly like how much my relationships with the people here mean to me, but the southern accent one is just too good to pass up. oh diet soda is like liquid crack....
fight for what you love and love what you fight for. it's a vicious endless circle, but it keeps me sane...almost.
No comments:
Post a Comment