the proverbial fan.

remember that time i told you that darwin was going out of town and it was time to get all of our ducks in a row as to ensure things ran smoothly and there were no crises (yes that is plural of crisis and yes i realize that it looks stupid) that i would have to handle.

well. we all know how that usually turns out. shit hitting the proverbial fan. and yes, you guessed it. shit.hit.the.fan.

that sure is some nice manure you have there good sir.

as i told you before, we had a big job that we shipped out a week ago. we were so happy that we got everything done on time and delivered without too many surprises. well, SURPRISE. they under-ordered or someone missed a take-off section. neither here nor there, but they were short material.

guess who got to solve that dilemma? if you guessed me, then you are correct.

want to know what involved solving that dilemma?

-schlepping heart pine
-reschlepping heart pine
-selling my soul to millwork
-reselling my soul to millwork
-bombing around kennesaw while my soul was at millwork
-SOOOOO MUCH CAFFEINE
-getting home at 630 on a friday
-getting up at 6 on a saturday
-finding out the finishing guy has a chest cold and you are now in charge of finishing 500SF
-praia rolling in compost heap waste
-showering off compost heap waste
-trying not to vomit while showering off compost heap waste
-schlepping more heart pine
-breaking into a 5 gallon container of velvit oil (crow bar and screw drivers involved)
-lining up over 500SF of heart pine (over 10' long)
-crouching around wiping on velvit oil
-trying not to die of velvit oil inhalation

you know the usual.

and you know what made it all worth it? well aside from satisfaction and pride: getting to do it all again today.

i really should add heart pine schlepper to my resume (right under fork lift extractor. i should also really come up with more glamorous names for these things.)

now comes the fun part. selling my soul to millwork again tomorrow to get 650LF of walnut run so that i can finish it tomorrow so that all this material can ship out wednesday morning bright and early.

wish me luck.

ciao. 


**picture

chauffeuring invalids...

things that are fun: puppies, flowers, more puppies, naps, ya know the usual...

things that don't quite fall into that category: darwin being sick and hopped up on pain meds.

that translates into me taking the reigns. now that he isn't quite so gorked out of his mind things are better. but not fully back to normal because he most certainly can't speak. so sign language and notes are what we are working with now.

monday i drove the truck around making deliveries, picking up lumber, and then get this, unloading the lumber by myself at the shop...that was a fun filled day full of caffeine (yes i broke my no caffeine rule). darwin slept on his couch while intermittently sending me text messages.

tuesday i drove darwin to the doctor. and waited, and waited, and waited some more. eventful. once we were done with that, i hauled tail out to the shop to meet some clients. only about 20 minutes late...

i guess this makes me morgan freeman and darwin miss daisy.

today (wednesday) i drove darwin to yet another doctor's appointment. (i'm beginning to feel like a chauffeur for the invalid). once i dropped him there i drove over to the shop and unloaded the truck (yes again and sans caffeine this time). drove to the pharmacy.  hopped back in the truck to pick up some heart pine - sketchy sketchy drive 300 yards that i would like to never do again. dropped off said heart pine. picked up finished heart pine. drove back to the pharmacy and then finally back to the shop. unloaded. drove back into town. stopped in kennesaw to drop of a contract and then, only then made our way back home....

things i learned today:

1. don't ever drive around your boss for a day while doing your job  (not exactly the most calming thing in the world)

2. if you don't take the exact way your boss thinks you should, he will point it out until you oblige accordingly....that only happened 3 times today

3. i cannot talk on the phone and drive at the same time - absolute can't

talking on the phone and driving, i am physically capable of, but when it comes to talking on the phone and actually paying attention to what the person is saying while trying to determine just exactly where you are is not my strong suit.

i can't make clear decisions when i am distracted by someone on the phone. darwin doesn't seem to quite grasp that concept.

some things i am quite capable doing while talking on the phone, but giving my absolute attention to the phone and the road i just can't do. i've tried. it doesn't end prettily.

i'd prefer to not end up with any more wrinkled vehicles this week. 

ciao.

wishing and hoping.

tim robbins once said: "...hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies." that quote is from his character andy dufresne in shawshank redemption for those of you living in a hole. perhaps a crater. i'm not entirely positive how you would not know this quote in some shape or fashion, unless you lived in a crater or on the moon. oh, yes on the moon, in a crater. that must be it.

my last post was about faith being a bluebird and believing in something and holding on tight. because if you don't believe in something then what exactly is your purpose? believe in whatever you want, cheese, chocolate, diet coke, puppies, naps, grammar, math, rainbows, unicorns, zombies, god, literature...whatever, just pick something. i have many things that i believe in, for better or for worse, i will always believe in them. even if someone tells you it is silly, keep on believing; prove them wrong. so there in lies the holding on tight. one thing i personally like to believe in is childhood. when you were a kid you believed you could do anything. you were out to prove to the world that you could in fact be WHATEVER you wanted. nothing was too preposterous to be when you grew up. i'm just having a hard time grappling with that whole growing up part. i've gotten older and i've stepped up to my responsibilities, but i'm still a little kid searching.

my entire life i've never known what i wanted to be when i grew up; mainly because i never actually wanted grow up. kind of like peter pan. but then again, i always knew that i wanted to do something with my life. i wanted to make my mark in some way. i didn't know what that would be, but i was sure as shit going to try and find out. i'm still trying to find out and one of these days i'll figure something out and let you know, but for the moment here's to hoping.

i've got a lot of faith in hope. and i've always been a very hopeful person. so i guess i've got that going for me. a lot of faith and even more hope. and dreams. so. many. dreams. and hey, if andy dufresne says that hope is a good thing and no good thing ever dies and morgan freeman believed him, then why on earth should i doubt him? that just would be silly and illogical.

at this exact moment, i am believing and have faith and hope in one thing in particular, aside from childhood, and that's a great company that is destined to do big (read: huge) things. and for right now, that's enough for me. maybe it won't always be, but it is for now, and i am okay with that. nothing is better than participating in something you believe in and seeing it grow to it's full potential. mark my words: nothing. absolutely nothing.

hgtv famous...

once upon a time, there was a 21 year old female college graduate who was unemployed. now you may be wondering who on earth i could be talking about. it's me silly. hahaha, i'm so clever i know. this is the story of how i came to be working for this lovely little operation (i resisted the urge to rewrite the fresh prince with my own lyrics...) down here in the ghetto of atlanta (wave to the ted when you come down, or the dome, or the crackhead; whatever suits your fancy).

i graduated from the university of georgia in may of 2008. i was happy to be done with school, but that awesomeness was soon deflated by moving and realizing i had no job. and not only did i have no job, i had no idea what i wanted to do with my life. who does when they are 21? if you are one of those people that does, then i will warn you of what is about to happen. i hate you. there i said it, i hate you. there are just too many options to be bothered with picking one silly little day job. so i naturally did what any graduate does: move in with best friend in a new city, check; "look" for jobs from approximately 11-1, check; go to the pool all summer long, double check. that made for a great summer for me, until i got the call of death: "listen we love you and are proud of your accomplishments, but GET A JOB!" point taken...let the search commence.

once i was thoroughly convinced that i was not actually employable, my uncle calls me and says that he met this guy, darwin, who sell really cool wood. eh, okay. he needs someone to help him out a couple of days a week, so i gave him your e-mail and phone number. eh, okay. it was one of those rare mornings that i was up at 630 (those are still rare...) and received a phone call at 7 and answered it (also another rarity). low and behold it was darwin, wanting to know if i could come in that day and talk with him about working there. sure sure of course of course; when, where, how on earth do i get there? the ghetto you say, ah i know a thing or two about ghetto hopping, sure i'll be there at 11, sounds magical. so i go and can say i am immediately awestruck at what i see. a. the ghetto (that was no joke, might have hit a crackhead with a shopping cart full of cans to recycle...) b. a giant warehouse painted blue c. people running around like chickens with their heads cut off cutting up wood....this could be fun. i find darwin, easier said that done. and we chat for oh all of 10 minutes and he looks at me and says can you start tomorrow, say come in around 9? uh, tomorrow? as in the day after today, as in approximate 22 hours? yea, i mean i guess...i'll have to check my busy calendar, who am i kidding, OF COURSE. next question: can you work quickbooks? uh, stammer stammer, sure? darwin: works for me...alrighty deal, one catch though, i am going to the beach on friday (ahem, exhibit a of why corporate america and me just don't jive) and won't be back until next thursday. darwin: sounds fun, have a good time, see you tomorrow. well alright then, looks like i have just become partially employed. score one for dot....

so i've been at work for let's say 2 weeks or so, it's almost my birthday (i am a toddler about my birthday, really a toddler in general, but if presents are involved you can bet your ass i will be more excited than any little kid could ever be), and i have just begun to learn the ropes. answer the phone, tell them yes yes we most certainly can do that, write everything down, pass said papers to darwin. approximately 1 out of 5 actually will get read and you just have to keep reshuffling and hand them to him again. not efficient, but i've only been here 2 weeks. i didn't know back then that i could actually bully darwin into paying attention for longer than a nanosecond or that it really is hard to get in trouble around here, short of setting the place on fire of course...well this is when darwin tells me, hey HGTV filmed me a couple of months ago for a segment they did on green companies (or something of the like). i nod along, not entirely knowing where this is going...and he goes, so they want to come film some more and maybe give us a tv show...SAY WHAT? they are coming thursday (or something) so just a heads up. i work thursdays...okay, WAIT WAIT WAIT, thursday is my birthday...could a birthday get any better than that? needless to say, it can't. except when they start asking you all these awkward questions....

do you worry about what your friends think of your job?
uh, what? i mean, what? no i never really thought about it.
do you care that you smell like sawdust at the end of the day?
well, seeing as how i've smelled sawdust since before i can remember, i am going to have to say no. i actually love the smell and wouldn't change it for anything.
how do you get customers to pay outstanding bills?
ex-girlfriend style. (what?). oh you want me to explain? okay, we start off real nice, just want to chat things over. then we call again, a little less agreeable, then we call again and we just are downright angry and annoying. just like an ex-girlfriend. it works well, and people will pay because they are tired of seeing the phone light up with our number...
here is the humdinger of all humdinger questions: so do you have a crush on your boss?
uh, what? (keep in mind i have to repeat these questions when i answer them...) do i have a crush on my boss? well, that is a loaded question, huh? i mean, he is 26 (? i think) and has his own business, what's not attractive about that...(of course it probably wasn't as eloquent and i probably looked like a tomato, but whatever).

judging by the first two weeks, i could tell that this place was going to be fun and probably get me into a lot of trouble. but ya know what, asking for forgiveness is a lot easier than asking for permission in my book...

now here we are over 2 years later and i am still here. i've learned a lot, like how to calculate board foot (or what it is for that matter), but not just about lumber. i've learned the stress of running a small business, of dealing with snot nosed customers, dealing with snot nosed vendors, how to smile through it all and most importantly how to use a really really southern accent to your advantage. try it some time ladies, it is like a wonder drug. i guess that's probably not the most important thing, it's probably something soft and cuddly like how much my relationships with the people here mean to me, but the southern accent one is just too good to pass up. oh diet soda is like liquid crack....

fight for what you love and love what you fight for. it's a vicious endless circle, but it keeps me sane...almost.

word vomit....

it’s wednesday and it’s raining. could you make a worse combination if you tried? i am not entirely convinced, but i am sure there is someway to make it worse….and oh wait, i’ve just found it, the internet is going in and out and it’s cold. i am currently (i clearly mean, me and the two dogs) are huddled by the wood stove, pretending that a. we aren’t bored, b. (they don’t have to pee) c. i am not hopped up on diet soda with nowhere to go…it’s like putting a bouncy ball in a confined box and watching it frantically wiggle around trying to find a place to stop and settle (usually my operating speed anyway). it’s just not going to happen and that is something i have vaguely come to terms with. i shouldn’t drink diet soda, but i just love it so. i really am a fan of buying the 93 cent one from Sam’s Club, RaceTrac, Pilot, wherever, and chugging it and annoying the ever living shit out of darwin; he has been known to take them away from me asking for a “sip” and chug the entire thing: “because it’s better that way, if you (me) don’t drink the rest of that. for my sanity and yours.” touche, fact, touche nonetheless. it makes my day more entertaining; i am sure he wishes he could bungee cord me to the chair and watch me squirm so that he doesn’t have to deal with me, but alas, things don’t go as we wish most of the time. hope for the best and plan for the worst right? that is pretty much how i have been living my life the past 6 months or so. walked away from something i knew for over 3 years and did my damndest to not fall apart. it’s november and i am still functioning (some days better than others) and i haven’t fallen apart just quite yet. there have been numerous meltdowns, which i feel i should probably apologize to darwin and my friends for having to be caught in the middle of them, but ya know, shit happens.

days like today are, when the flow chart of ideas going through my head is like driving the autobon in germany: it’s going as fast as possible and it’s dangerous. i often get sidetracked and one tangent leads to about 6 others. which leads me to this post. have you ever just tried to sit down and do something start to finish without stopping, interrupting or getting sidetracked? i have, and i used to be really good at focusing and getting that one task or idea done and moving on to the next one; all with great ease and precision. after over 2 years at Mississippi Wood Trader i find myself lacking the mental ability and drive anymore to make myself sit still and get one task, no matter how menial and small, done without doing 3 others at the same time. i often wonder if maybe i could have handled something better if i would have just taken the time to sort it completely out, and then i promptly forget about it because i have eight million other task in line. i think darwin is rubbing off on me. yet somehow, my organizational overachiever self always steps in and i manage to get everything done. i make lists upon lists and cross things off as i go and then add about 10 more. if you were to read these lists, they would probably look like a bunch of kindergarten gibberish (complete with doodles), which in many cases they actually might be. i am a firm believer in seeing an idea through all its possible outcomes, but sometimes, that may take a day, a month, 2 years, an eternity, i just never really know. usually the best ideas get tossed aside to do something else, like say undoing the Quickbooks disaster that darwin always manages to create, but they come back to me and i begin to ponder. it’s really hard for me to turn my brain completely off.

today i made myself do one task and complete it before i moved on. do you know how HARD that was for me? hopped up on diet soda and french fries? mmmm french fries….case and point. i am not really sure i actually accomplished that task, or really what that task was. hmm. i am not cut out for corporate America; i like the beach entirely too much to be restricted to this silly “vacation time” you people speak of. i’ve got too much energy to be pent up in a cubicle, and i really, really like my dog. so i came to Mississippi Wood Trader, knowing nothing other than what my uncle has told me: darwin’s young, he’s cool, and he sells lumber. i can sell lumber, right? of course i can, i grew up with it….or at least i made myself believe i could. now that being said, i knew i could never work some where being given one task to do a day. good gracious that sounds miserable. so naturally i pick the place with an energetic boss, skateboards, forklifts, trucks, dogs, the whole nine yards. i love it and it proves that no matter how silly an idea may seem, it could turn out to be the best thing you have ever done.

maybe part of the reason i really enjoy working here, is because the random things that shoot through my brain at Indy 500 speeds, don’t seem quite so crazy. ideas around here come and go, and someone has to take them and filter them and carry through with them. that usually falls to me, and i am okay with that, because organizing is something i crave. it’s almost scary how much i can’t handle unfolded laundry, dishes, papers….it sends me into an absolute tizzy.

so there you have it. this is how my brain works, which coincides quite well with how darwin’s works. we both bounce off each other like toddlers and sometimes we meet in the middle and realize a good idea. which is part of the reason i started this blog; i thought it was a good idea, darwin humored me for the nanosecond he was paying attention, and then viola i made a blog. i am a blogger. ha, now that’s just silly.

P.S. expect a lot of rambling, because after over 4 years of structured History major paper writing, i am tired of filtering thoughts (frankly, i am just tired). ideas come in a rush and this is pretty much how i sound at most times anyway. i talk too fast, and i think too much, so it comes out in a jumble and you just have to piece it together and bear with me…it takes a second to get used to, but i find it works best.