memphisism.

i have no fun one liners from the rest of this week. it was a rather uneventful week.

well aside from a guy telling me he had bladder cancer - and then proceeding today to tell darwin the entire story of how he found out. thank you overly zealous life story telling man.

well a couple of weeks ago, darwin, his brother robinson and i were driving around north georgia scouting properties. ya know because of this whole long standing "our landlord sucks at life and is a lowlife scum eating turd face" debacle we are in.

things you see a lot of in north georgia:

-abandoned chicken farms
-abandoned homes
-sweet trailer get-ups
-above ground pools (apparently this is not just a south georgia phenomena)
-lots of winding roads
-very little cell service
-riding tractor/mowers

you know the standard.

speaking of above ground pools. well we saw one of them and i was sitting in the back seat with praia -- while ro was trying no to vomit in the front seat -- and i looked over at it and said, well that is greener than shit.

to which darwin promptly replied: wow you are from memphis.

similar to this, but greener and grosser.

i sometimes forget that there are things that people say in memphis that you just don't hear elsewhere. greener than shit being the front runner at the moment....

back to the search for land...with or without the greener than shit pool...i mean i wouldn't turn down a pool. who does that?

next week is a short week for me. i am leaving thursday for my very best friend's bachelorette party. we are going to the beach and I AM SOOOO EXCITED (see how many caps were in that? that's pure excitement gold right there). which means next week is going to be a shit show.

we only have the rest of a floor to deliver, a pay app to get in, and i am sure something will go terribly wrong. it's guaranteed to in fact. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee work crises.  oh and dolly and 1 forklift are broken...good lousy.

i'll take the work crisis in exchange for the beach any day. mmmm salt water and air....that's the cure right there folks.

mmm ocean sunsets.

ciao.

p.s. i apologize for the number of "shits" (that was eloquently put, no?) in this post. i take that back. no i'm not....shit

source

what's a girl got to do, to get some beach action?

do you ever have those days where you want to politely (or not so politely) excuse yourself from the world and just run away for a little while? i've been thinking, with increasing notion, that this may be a good idea. everyone needs a little break, right? right? right? anyone? just a little break. nothing major. just an escape. oh, i like that better, an escape. it's rather like when you just want a brownie, or a chip, or some ice-cream. it smooths everything over just enough to get you back into the swing of things. a refresher if you will. nothing major or life-changing. just a chance to relax and forget about the stresses that come day to day.

perhaps a fruity drink with an umbrella in it would tide me over for a bit. probably not, but it may be my best option for now. i think me and the beach would get along quite well. i wouldn't be pushy or ask too many questions (i tend to ask too many questions...most of the time i don't want answers, they are just out loud musings.). i promise i really won't.

my best friend and her family were kind enough to take me to asheville, north carolina last weekend. that was a great reprieve. i did learn however that i am a beach kid to the core. the mountains are beautiful and picturesque, but there is just something about the beach. the smell, the waves, the sand, the salt. all of it. it made me miss the beach even more. mainly the beach as a kid. playing in the sand making castles. finding sand for the next three weeks after you've left the beach....

today has been rather eventful and has made darwin and i seriously rethink the way things run around the shop. nothing like calling the cops by 10:45 on a tuesday to get your day going. not one of our better mornings. none of it was our fault, but it means that security is going to be a lot tighter around the shop and that i probably in all likelihood won't ever be there alone again. or perhaps i should start carrying a gun. wouldn't that be entertaining? dot with a gun. ha.

so as much fun as the shop has been today: guy trying to sell me a fake-ass gold chain (ya know, to pay for his car getting worked on next door); cops; forklift driving; darwin in the rafters standing on the forklift...it's been a big day and i am glad to say that i am no longer sitting at the shop. it's not the beach or anything (that would make this tuesday far more exhilarating, not too mention, this blog probably wouldn't be written), but it most certainly is not the ghetto....but then again nothing really is.

ciao.

gravity bites.

you know in charlie brown when he goes to kick the football and every time lucy pulls the ball away? it never gets old and is always funny. that's a little bit like this story that darwin reminded me of yesterday...

drew is our original sawyer (literally one who saws). i say original because darwin got jealous and bought his own sawmill...boys will be boys. anywho. drew. he is the king midas of breaking things. always hilarious, a little nerve racking, and sure to make darwin cringe. so for me that equals one of two things: laughing hysterically or running away from the mad bear...never ever poke the bear. i repeat never ever poke the bear. (although i must admit occasionally i do poke the bear...it can be entertaining.)

take for instance the forklift falling in a sinkhole that i mentioned in my first entry. that was drew. driving along in helga (god rest her poor little soul) and WHAM! helga falls in a hole. hilarious, mouth dropping, and puzzling as it was, drew was not too pleased. darwin and i just stood completely and utterly aghast. he. forklift. helga. what? what? how? what?

now getting helga out of a hole requires another forklift. i call them hans and frans. they are our matching green forklifts. hans and or frans gets helga out and on with the day we go. but don't you worry, drew and helga will fall in another hole. trust me on this. well maybe not with helga, although he did do that a number of times more, but with another forklift. it's bound to happen. forklifts are heavy suckers. its just a matter of gravity. thanks sir isaac newton for that little tid bit of science.

moving forward. still involving drew and forklifts. now darwin does not like hans or frans to go outside. they are not made for outside. only he is allowed to take the precious babies outside. well, as you all know by now some things around here just don't go as planned. drew took hansy and or fransy outside one day. he was throwing stuff (read oversized wood chunks that i get yelled at for later by the complex) away in the dumpster. now here is where that charlie brown and lucy scenario comes to play. i call the motion of charlie falling "slippery feet."

drew is loading a dumpster and getting stuff off the tines of hans or frans. well seeing as how these forklifts are not supposed to go outside...one of the tine bolts came loose and well if you can guess where i am going with this...drew went feet over head into the dumpster. now i did not witness it, but darwin told me about it and i am pretty sure he was crying he was laughing so hard. drew however was not amused. he was soooo mad. but come on, picture a grown man cartoon style falling into a dumpster. now that is funny! absolute comedic gold.

i would like to say that drew has learned his lesson and doesn't take hansy or fransy outside anymore, but you clearly do not have a grasp on this adult daycare center...he does not however climb the forklifts like mountains. his feet stay firmly planted on the ground (well most of the time).