gravity bites.

you know in charlie brown when he goes to kick the football and every time lucy pulls the ball away? it never gets old and is always funny. that's a little bit like this story that darwin reminded me of yesterday...

drew is our original sawyer (literally one who saws). i say original because darwin got jealous and bought his own sawmill...boys will be boys. anywho. drew. he is the king midas of breaking things. always hilarious, a little nerve racking, and sure to make darwin cringe. so for me that equals one of two things: laughing hysterically or running away from the mad bear...never ever poke the bear. i repeat never ever poke the bear. (although i must admit occasionally i do poke the bear...it can be entertaining.)

take for instance the forklift falling in a sinkhole that i mentioned in my first entry. that was drew. driving along in helga (god rest her poor little soul) and WHAM! helga falls in a hole. hilarious, mouth dropping, and puzzling as it was, drew was not too pleased. darwin and i just stood completely and utterly aghast. he. forklift. helga. what? what? how? what?

now getting helga out of a hole requires another forklift. i call them hans and frans. they are our matching green forklifts. hans and or frans gets helga out and on with the day we go. but don't you worry, drew and helga will fall in another hole. trust me on this. well maybe not with helga, although he did do that a number of times more, but with another forklift. it's bound to happen. forklifts are heavy suckers. its just a matter of gravity. thanks sir isaac newton for that little tid bit of science.

moving forward. still involving drew and forklifts. now darwin does not like hans or frans to go outside. they are not made for outside. only he is allowed to take the precious babies outside. well, as you all know by now some things around here just don't go as planned. drew took hansy and or fransy outside one day. he was throwing stuff (read oversized wood chunks that i get yelled at for later by the complex) away in the dumpster. now here is where that charlie brown and lucy scenario comes to play. i call the motion of charlie falling "slippery feet."

drew is loading a dumpster and getting stuff off the tines of hans or frans. well seeing as how these forklifts are not supposed to go outside...one of the tine bolts came loose and well if you can guess where i am going with this...drew went feet over head into the dumpster. now i did not witness it, but darwin told me about it and i am pretty sure he was crying he was laughing so hard. drew however was not amused. he was soooo mad. but come on, picture a grown man cartoon style falling into a dumpster. now that is funny! absolute comedic gold.

i would like to say that drew has learned his lesson and doesn't take hansy or fransy outside anymore, but you clearly do not have a grasp on this adult daycare center...he does not however climb the forklifts like mountains. his feet stay firmly planted on the ground (well most of the time).

pony pink.

here is the helga. i named her helga, and she is beautiful. i love her. she has met her demise this past week. she will no longer charge. sad day in my life. BUT i did get to paint her pink....

there comes a day when every girl wants to paint something. now my idea of painting something usually entails me holding a paintbrush and watching someone else paint. but alas, this day at work had other plans in store for me. these plans were "end painting". this lovely, enjoyable and glamorous task involves mixing a big bucket with paint and glue and then painting the ends of fresh cut logs. darwin came in with the color that we aptly dubbed "pink pony pink." if you are not from atlanta, then you do not know what this fine institution is (i guess that was a little presumptuous of me, you may know what it is); it is a lovely little strip club that is located in north atlanta as well as south atlanta, and has billboards that say catchy phrases like "forecast calls for scattered panties." classy. with that being said, you can only imagine what horrendous color of pink was chosen for this end painting task. lots of giggling and threatening occurred while painting logs. mainly, don't piss me off, i will most certainly give your dog a pink mohawk....(that did not happen, but we used to daycare a dog name beau jangles (poor little beau) and i most certainly painted his nails pink...) after painting about 40 ends and thinking i may become blind from the atrocious color, i decided that i was going to paint the forklift. at first all i put was a dot on it. just one little dot and left it, to see how long it would take darwin to notice...

one dot apparently is not noticeable. so hopped up on diet soda, i commenced to painting more dots on the back of the forklift. mike (the shop guy) noticed and started laughing. still no note from darwin. so, that sent me on a mission....a mission that ended with a masterfully painted forklift. darwin finally noticed and gave me that look. the look of: i think i may hate you, but i am most certainly too tired to do anything about this. also, the look of i may hate you, but what could i have said to make you not do that...answer ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. it turned out for the best (at least i think so) and now we had a "pretty forklift." i always warned darwin that i was going to paint one of the forklifts pink and it would be MY forklift. ha...i mean, i did warn him.

when working in a lumber yard full of guys, you've got to get your kicks somewhere. so when missions arise, like go buy some spray paint or i need a new toothbrush, i am most definitely going to buy the one that is the girliest. usually neon pink, or maybe with a princess or two on it. i find it highly amusing because, come on, it is.

so cheers to pink pony pink painting...say that 5 times fast...