hangry.

have you ever done something and proceeded on with your life under the assumption that everything was kosher only to find out a week and change later that it in fact was very unkosher (whatever, totally a word) and you have approximately 12 hours to fix it? by 12 hours, i mean rewind time to when you ordered the product and make it correct then....

needless to say it is a losing battle. i am also not losing it very graciously (prettily, humbly - i'm not sure the exact term for what is happening to me right now), but whatever. it's monday. and mondays suck. it's inherent. it's in their dna if they had dna.

i've called no less that five steel places in an attempt to remedy this little huge little brain burp that i had. i could come to my own defense and say why i under ordered, but that just gets us a bed of excuses to lie in while the problem is still glaring us in the face like churchgoers on sunday when you are still drunk at brunch. (don't judge, you've done it too...)

yes churchgoer analogies during lent. whatever. read back to paragraph two: it's monday. and it's 1106 and i am about to get dangerously hungry or perhaps the lovely term known as hangry...look it up. it flows much better than grungry or the less popular crabungry (i may have made those other two up...)

back to the steel ordering process. it seems the forces have aligned against me. no i do not know the forces and no i do not know what i did to piss them off so horribly, but good gracious mea culpa times 80 bajillion. i have finally located the steel, but they can't cut it. superb. i only need to deliver painted and drilled steel tomorrow morning. that time machine is looking real nice right now. real nice.

i mean, i don't work for a steel company. i work for a lumber company. lumber i can do. steel? ha, not even close. i have to call and start with the "bear with me as i have absolutely no idea what i am doing. can you help?" line.  it takes a few around the circles and up the ladders and back around the circle before we are both presumably on the same page...

now like later this morning - because i haven't been up since 6 or anything - i get the phone call to find some hand hewn beams....that is a mission i can handle. call up and ask about lumber. SOLD. let's do this....finding it seems to be a growing problem. sweet. just add that to my list for the recipe of awesome monday makings.

perhaps i should scratch this whole blog post. it's probably best. eh. there are some witty comments in there.....

ciao.

**note for those of you who are of the less informed party: hangry - hungry + angry; grungry - grumpy + angry; crabungry - crabby + hungry

forklifting...

so it's tomorrow: LOOPHOLE! - i never told you which day would be tomorrow. tricky, i know.

forklift extraction.

ouch.

it's a science. a very inexact science at best. but a science nonetheless.

i am beginning to think that perhaps i should add it to my list in my resume and on my business card: "official forklift extractor." more like really good at telling you how to extract the forklift. that's a lie, i am also really good at getting them out too, but i like to keep that to myself and all 4 of you that read this (that 4 is being generous...)

round 1:

new shop. forklift in a hole. no other method of extraction besides the truck. i was not involved in that extraction. mainly because i couldn't stomach the viewing of it. it was all entirely too nerve-racking for me. forklift got extracted. win - win.

round 2:

new shop. forklift stuck in the field. me in forklift. darwin in trackhoe. yes trackhoe. darwin behind me in forklift shoving. it was a lot of wheel spinning, mud throwing, but it came unstuck.

round 3:

new shop. forklift stuck in a hole (round 1 style - same hole). trackhoe involvement round 2. lots of mud throwing, wheels spinning, plywood shoving, and ratchet strap maneuvering. ya know the usual. it got unstuck.

now i think i have a degree in forklift extraction.

ahh the joys of working in a lumberyard.

ciao.

picture: http://whomeninja.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/funny-car-pictures-23.jpg

blabbering.

now that darwin is no longer referred to as the invalid (okay, okay maybe i was the only one that actually called him the invalid, but that's neither here nor there...) things have gone back to normal.

by normal i mean, he can talk and is awfully bossy again - i kid, i kid. he was still bossy when he couldn't talk...

i was pretty sure that yesterday he was milking this illness for all that it was worth by making me schlep some more heart pine around. everyone at that millwork shop thought he was faking it by then...but whatever, i like the driving the truck around. it's big and makes me feel important. and besides who doesn't want to drive around a kickass giant truck that is loud and intimidating? because i absolutely do.

i use this blog as my journal for the daily activities that are funny and quirky for me at work. sometimes however, i just fall apart.

lately i've done that. fallen apart. a lot.

my current streak right now is a week and half without melting down. go me...small steps, yea?

i think mainly it's because i have been too busy running the company because darwin had been laid up on a couch unable to talk or function as a contributing member of society (that may be a bit harsh, but whatever, he laid on the couch for a week, lost a bunch of weight, and made me take him to doctor's appointments all across the state....)

i find that if i have things to do then i do much better.

so enough of the sob story. let's move onto something funny.

now if i wasn't too excited - wow - sleepy/exhausted is the word i was looking for, i would tell you all about the forklift extraction that i have become quite good at... yeesh.

tomorrow. i promise. mea culpa. tomorrow. tomorrow. you're only a day away....

ciao.

chauffeuring invalids...

things that are fun: puppies, flowers, more puppies, naps, ya know the usual...

things that don't quite fall into that category: darwin being sick and hopped up on pain meds.

that translates into me taking the reigns. now that he isn't quite so gorked out of his mind things are better. but not fully back to normal because he most certainly can't speak. so sign language and notes are what we are working with now.

monday i drove the truck around making deliveries, picking up lumber, and then get this, unloading the lumber by myself at the shop...that was a fun filled day full of caffeine (yes i broke my no caffeine rule). darwin slept on his couch while intermittently sending me text messages.

tuesday i drove darwin to the doctor. and waited, and waited, and waited some more. eventful. once we were done with that, i hauled tail out to the shop to meet some clients. only about 20 minutes late...

i guess this makes me morgan freeman and darwin miss daisy.

today (wednesday) i drove darwin to yet another doctor's appointment. (i'm beginning to feel like a chauffeur for the invalid). once i dropped him there i drove over to the shop and unloaded the truck (yes again and sans caffeine this time). drove to the pharmacy.  hopped back in the truck to pick up some heart pine - sketchy sketchy drive 300 yards that i would like to never do again. dropped off said heart pine. picked up finished heart pine. drove back to the pharmacy and then finally back to the shop. unloaded. drove back into town. stopped in kennesaw to drop of a contract and then, only then made our way back home....

things i learned today:

1. don't ever drive around your boss for a day while doing your job  (not exactly the most calming thing in the world)

2. if you don't take the exact way your boss thinks you should, he will point it out until you oblige accordingly....that only happened 3 times today

3. i cannot talk on the phone and drive at the same time - absolute can't

talking on the phone and driving, i am physically capable of, but when it comes to talking on the phone and actually paying attention to what the person is saying while trying to determine just exactly where you are is not my strong suit.

i can't make clear decisions when i am distracted by someone on the phone. darwin doesn't seem to quite grasp that concept.

some things i am quite capable doing while talking on the phone, but giving my absolute attention to the phone and the road i just can't do. i've tried. it doesn't end prettily.

i'd prefer to not end up with any more wrinkled vehicles this week. 

ciao.

wide.walnut.boards.

in the land of unknowns there is one thing for certain. if you don't try you will never know.

everyday in a small business is a trial. some you win, and some you lose. we've pared down the losing to a fine art, but there are days that completely blindside you and you have to be on your toes and rethink everything.

this recently hasn't been my best quality. i normally am very good at thinking on my feet and coming up with another option, but as of late i've been a sluggish at best.

i've taken the steps towards mending that and i know it will take some time, but i am feeling better and more alert. which for me is a big step in the right direction.

now enough of the debbie downer and back to the "happiness project," because i definitely took about 18 steps backwards in that department.

sweet praia girl pre-mohawk

on monday darwin and i were in the truck all day. we laughed, we joked, we tried not to kill bad drivers of north georgia, you know the usual.

the funniest part of the whole day was when we were hunting for some wide walnut boards (especially difficult). i am on the phone trying to find the material after the first company who told me they did, completely dropped the ball. we are leaving millwork and i am on hold. praia starts making this horrendous retching noise in the backseat of the truck as we are sitting at a red light. darwin is trying to get her into the floorboards to throw up and i am scrambling to get his bag out of the way while not laughing. praia throws up all over the backseat and darwin is FURIOUS. i.CANNOT.stop.laughing. the person comes back on the other end of the line to tell me they have no wide boards and i am gritting my teeth to not laugh into the phone. as this is all happening the light turns green and we get honked at. darwin completely lost it. luckily i could hang up the phone because i fell into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. i mean picture it:

big black truck
praia trying to vomit
darwin backwards in the driver seat trying to keep her from puking in the seat
me on the phone, while backwards in the passenger seat trying to move his bag
light turns green
praia commences to puking
we get honked at
darwin screaming curse words
me finishing a phone call and laughing for the next 30 minutes

i wish it was on film. it was hysterical. i haven't laughed that hard and that long in a minute.

ciao.

quarter panel crisis...err, i mean life.

lately i have been feeling a bit blue. a cute word for sad, tired, cranky, depressed, and overall a great joy to be around (insert sarcasm).

doesn't that sound like the most awesome ball of fun times ever? yea i didn't think so either. needless to say with that array of awesomeness i am emitting, i haven't been up for much. especially not updating my blog. i can barely update my daily outfit, much less be held to updated my life.

i avoid them by signing up for things like tough mudder...but still failing at the avoidance part

you already know about the dinner party and it's great success. i hear a good time was had by all and judging by the pictures, perhaps "good" isn't the right adjective to describe the time had by all. magnamous may be more appropriate.

you know what makes those tables especially fun?

when they weigh ninetymillionpoundsandyouhavetomovethem. (read: all one breath: ninety million pounds and you have to move them). ::you're welcome for my translation::


i am in a bit of a goofy mood today. i can't seem to focus or sit still for any length of time. no, it's not what you think, i have had no caffeine. side note: i've given it up. unless it comes in the form of chocolate or tea. but sodas are out. and coffee, well it was never really a contender because it's gross.

i feel a bit like a fairy hopped up on life right now. i am going with it's the beautiful weather that i am staring at through this here basement window.

funny work stories? well let me comb my rolodex of hilarity that goes on around here.

mainly they involve blunders. such as the number of times darwin has broken the trucks coming down the interstate. i am sure i have told you about darwin in the black truck and the breaks going out on the downtown connector in 5 o'clock rush hour while pulling a full load and proceeding to break two AAA trucks. if i haven't remind me and i will tell you all about it.

this last one wasn't quite as terrifying, but still not great. the white truck needed new tires. we thought we could squeeze by, but boy were we ever wrong. darwin was coming back from the new shop. my car was at the new shop and i had his land rover. i am leaving to go climbing and he calls me to tell me that he blew the front tire out on dolly (the white truck) and he is waiting on the side of 75-S for AAA. that's always an exciting phone call to field.

no this is not what ours looks like, but it would be pretty sweet if it did. 

candice and i go retrieve darwin from the tire shop and drop the smoldering fumes of madness known as darwin off at his house.

moral of the story: what should have cost us in the amount of two new front tires, cost us in the amount of two new front tires PLUS two new quarter panels PLUS paint. mmmmmm car repair.

glamourous isn't it folks?

ciao.