mantras....

working for a small company has it pluses and minuses (i am sure working for multinational conglomerate corporation big malarky companies also does too, but this i know nothing about, and i personally do like to make assumptions; because that makes an ass out of you and 'mption - whoever that may be...). but anyway, everyone plays the plus minus game in life, it's all a matter of what you see as pluses and if you are willing to overlook a few minuses to stay ahead.

now that being said. this game can get tricky, because what may seem like a plus may turn out to be a HUGE minus, or vice versa, and completely throw off your ratio. you want everything to come up sunshine and roses, but it doesn't always work out the way you plan. you can plan and plan and plan, but something will inevitably throw a wrench into your well thought out plan. i like to tell darwin that i can plan for the best, but i do much better when i plan for the worst and hope for the best. going into situations knowing they may not end up perfectly, helps you remember to go with the flow and what is meant to be will be. everything happens for a reason and it will most decidedly work out in the end. however, the waiting game and the constant grinning do get old. i will be the first to admit that waiting is absolutely terrible and trying to find the reasoning behind things happening sucks, but i have come to learn to stop looking and start living.

it's part of my 2011 mantra. just let it be. it is january 21st and i have broken that mantra approximately 3 times already. that is a one a week mantra breaking. not exactly the best record, but old habits die hard, right? well mine do at least. if i have learned anything from the past, it's that i do not do well with knowing when to throw in the towel. i have to keep reminding myself that i haven't quit, i've just decided to take another route.

there are many pluses that come with my job...and also some minuses. 9 times out of 10 the pluses overshadow the minuses to the point where its almost as if they aren't even real. some days however (3 of them so far) the minuses come up and rear their ugly heads...i would like to say that i am an adult and can handle it with grace and poise, but that's just laughable. i am toddler. i freak out (on my own time, ahem, mostly on my own time). it's usually a 3 day funk period and then something funny happens and you remember that not everything has to be so serious....

let it be. happiness. bravery. fearless. stop looking and start living.

ciao.