downtime.

downtime is something that comes in waves around this humble ghettolumberyard. some days it is go, go, go around here, and it is nice to have a little downtime to just breathe and assess. but when you get a couple of those days in a row, you tend to go insane. i mean there are only so many ways to analyze something before you come to the conclusion that a self imploding bomb set in the middle of the warehouse to go off at any given moment might be the best solution. i am particularly good at analyzing things, i just have no off button. that is my problem. the off button. i forget where i've placed it, and it is often misplaced for months upon end. so after about 4 months of misplacement, i decided to get my mind off of things.

so i did what made the most sense. i started a business. perfect i know. exactly what i need to get my mind off the other business. ha. phenomenal. but, at the moment it is working...stay tuned.

speaking of go, go, go. darwin decided he was going to teach me to drive george (new white dually, i name it george and it stuck). george is a stick shift. darwin decided moving it in the warehouse was a good time for me to learn...false. there are expensive things around me...lots and lots of expensive things. needless to say things did not go well. i didn't break anything, well my pride, but nothing irreplaceable. so darwin was standing on the running board with his head in the window leaning over me, putting the truck in gear, and then he told me to slowly pull up on the clutch...never used a clutch before...proceeded to drop the clutch. scream. slam on breaks, and give darwin the evil eye. it was not good. he was screaming you dropped the clutch, you dropped the clutch. i looked at him and said clearly i don't know what that means, but i would like to get out of this truck now. please and thank you. i told him we could reschedule for a later date...ya know when nothing expensive was surrounding me...

here's my business venture... http://www.etsy.com/shop/dorothyspiotta - i haven't added anything yet, that will come later tonight. so check it out tomorrow....

wild goose chase

have you ever had one of those days when nothing goes according to plan? i have those days quite a bit around the lumberghettoyard. there is no way to really predict what will go wrong (or in fact how terrible it will really be), but it is guaranteed. you just kind of close one eye and squint and hope for the best.

well tuesday i was tasked with stamping the ends of freshly cut timbers with our logo and then also putting the dimensions on the ends of them. not a terribly difficult task. i found some bright pink spray paint and wandered outside. first timber goes well, stamped and later dimensions added (that task was added later). second timber...bright pink spray paint explodes in my hand. pink spray paint is everywhere: covering both of my hands, down one of my arms, all over my uggs, and in my hair. it was like a rave gone horribly wrong. i tried without success to get the paint off. i keep finding remnants of it, and also it turns out that if you have blond hair, yea pink spray paint isn't coming out. just my luck. so looks like i've got pink paint to keep me entertained for the foreseeable future.

this is not the worst thing to happen to me, not even close. that actually is something that i should have come to expect after all this time. what i didn't expect was to walk in to jersey mike's one day and call darwin and ask him if he wanted me to get him a sandwich and to be greeted with: "i threw it out the window." - you threw what out the window? - "it took me to the wrong side of (expletive, expletive) town and i threw it out the window. it's gone." - excuse me, what, what is gone? - "the gps, i threw it out the window." - well okay, do you want a sandwich? - "get me the biggest expletive sandwich you can, and order a new gps." - well alrighty then.

you just never know what storm you are going to walk into around here. i handle them fairly well, but the gps one caught me off guard. i just didn't think a grown man would throw a gps out the window...clearly, that is a lie, i totally expected it. i mean, i've been frustrated and all, but i don't think it would occur to me to throw a gps out the window. maybe hurtle a phone across a room, but certainly not out of a moving vehicle. (well okay maybe occasionally, but honestly who hasn't?)

i learned a few valuable things that day: gps(es) do lie (proven fact), throwing things will fix them (logical), don't poke the bear, feed boys regularly (if you don't, they become cranky and whiney and apparently angry at the world), and of course, never, ever question the logic of a hungry guy who has been taken on a wild goose chase, when he tells you that he threw the gps out the window...ah the little lessons in life.

oh. the new gps...she certainly has a stutter...it's adorable.

every other day of the week is fine....

monday monday, can't trust that day...that's about right. i've decided that maybe mondays should be deleted from existence. that would be quite nice...i think i have yet to wake up monday morning and think, ahhh yes monday. nope never. the monday after the superbowl, should most decidedly be a national skip work holiday. who honestly feels like work is a good option after a day of football? no one, that's who.

things that have gone according to the monday schedule:

-darwin called me to come get him...
-darwin forgot the propane tank, so it is freezing.
-got to the post office and halfway to lunch when i realized i forgot to drop a letter in mailbox
-park a million miles away from lunch (find mail drop box along journey to lunch)
-scale out logs - now covered in muddy sludge.
-no small pieces of firewood to start fire in woodstove
-did i mention it's freezing?
-the phone has yet to ring
-i've been yelled at by the front office - i was just the messenger, sheesh.
-i've sneezed about 15 times
-it's freezing
-it's freezing
-it's freezing
-it's freezing

sensing a pattern here? i am. it involves me not being cold, and today i am cold. i think it is making me crabby. or the fact that i got yelled at this morning and i didn't do anything. it's like when the teacher thinks you were the one talking and yells at you while the person who really did it is snickering in the corner because they didn't get caught. i was rather put off by being yelled at this morning. not a good way to start the day i must say.

i realize this is a terrible blog post, but i have to got stamp some logs...glamorous, well aware. i promise to get you a funnier, better post in the near future...

ciao.

p.s. anyone else really disappointed with the superbowl commercials this year? except for the doritos ones, because those were hilarious.